All The Feels | Week 7 | Bill Bush

no. But speaking of something not even less funny,

back when I was a youth pastor back in the dark ages before electricity and things like that, one of the places I I had the privilege of being a youth pastor was at the beach, at a church at the beach, but I I I never lived there. I I liked going to the beach, but I never lived in that culture at all. I grew up in the desert, like, you know, Jonesy there. I was like, I I I didn't

so I knew nothing about the beach culture, but yet I started working with students there. And the one thing about it was I I liked looking at the ocean. I liked the ocean breeze. I didn't really like going in the water that much for for a couple reasons. One, I didn't like really cold water.

Two, I didn't like the way you feel when you've been in the water and you just feel that gross salty kinda then then the sand all over you. I I kinda wish like they had like grass that went right to the water or something like that, but

and then and then the third thing was I saw Jaws when I was a little at a very formative age, and

and so I really freaked out being in water where I couldn't see the bottom and didn't know what was going on there. So of course, once I go to this church, that the church actually looked out over the ocean. And so I get there, and they're welcome to me as the youth group had raised up some money, and the first thing they hand me was a new surfboard.

So I realized, oh, there's an expectation that if you're gonna be with us,

you're gonna go out there. And and so I was like, oh, okay. So, of course, they go, we're surfing tomorrow morning, crack of dawn, of course. That's when they go, so I didn't and and back then, I didn't like mornings either. So so I it's it's all the worst things I could possibly imagine rolled into one, but that's, you know, you have to, you know, carry your cross if you're gonna minister to people, I suppose. But instead, I was carrying a a surfboard.

And and so we get down the beach. The first thing we do, we get the surfboards, we go out, and everyone stops at the top of the hill, you know, sticks the boards down, they're all like staring at the beach. You know, you've seen it like on posters for surf movies.

So I have no idea what they're doing. I I I go, oh, this is just be our cool pose shot before we go out and be cool in the water. So I'm like, I don't know what they're looking at. And then being the teenagers that they are, instead of actually teaching me anything about surfing, let's surf. And they take off and run-in the water and and take off. And so I'm like, okay, I guess

they just expect I should know how to do this. So I go down there and I take this big board, I get into the the water, and and and I'm a big guy, so they bought me a it's a really big long board. It's like it's it's like a sailboat almost, so it's unwieldy.

And I and I did what I thought you're supposed to do. I I see where the waves are, and I went right in the water and just paddled right at these waves.

And if you know anything about surfing, you're not supposed to do it that way. Because if you go right at the waves, they tend to hit you and push you the wrong way. So I spent the first forty minutes of surfing basically swimming, pummeled, swimming, pummeled,

and and then at one point I go, how far out am I? And I got off my board and I was only in this deep of water. And I look and there's like little kids still playing in the water next to me. I mean, I that's just as far as I got, And I was so exhausted

and and defeated that I just kept getting hit by these waves and moved back and I couldn't figure it out that I just went and threw the board and I just sat up in the in the sand and said, surfing is bad. It's dumb.

But then some older guy saw what I was doing and he comes over and he's like, first time? I go, no. I'm a pro. What made you think that? I go, of course, it's my first time. And he says, well, you want a little advice? And I go, well, you know, anything would be better than what you just saw.

And he goes, well, first of all, you don't swim right into the set. He goes, what you do, what what else was doing when you were standing there, was they're looking for the way out. And you look for these channels where there's no waves. Cause if you notice, waves don't stretch all the way to the horizon.

And what I found out is those channels are actually riptides, he said, so they'll help take you out. Just remember to turn and get back towards the waves, otherwise you'll be in Catalina. And so

so he goes, you gotta do that. The other thing is if you do happen to have a wave come to hit you, like one comes in where you were swimming out, you push the front of the board down and you dive into it. So it kinda goes over the top of you and it doesn't knock you backwards. And I'm like, alright. Good. Taking notes. And he goes, the last thing is when you get out there and you turn around and you wait, when you see a wave coming,

you start paddling before it gets there. And I'm like, oh, good advice. I would have just sat there. Said, alright, make me surf.

And so I I I proceeded to try to do that and it was still terrible. But I I did actually learn how to surf and figured out how to do it and I had a few good days where I was like, now I know why people

like this sport. I mean, I still didn't like the cold water, the early mornings, potential shark attack, and you know, all of that stuff. But I realized like at the first, when I tried to do it, I just said surfing's bad.

Well, think it's the same thing with the feeling we're going to talk about today, and that is sadness.

That when we get sad, we don't know how what we're supposed to do with it. We don't know how to handle it. We do one of two things. Either we are getting pummeled by it, the waves just keep coming, and we think we're just supposed to swim right through it, straight at it, and just kinda just go dead ahead, and it just keeps hitting us and hitting us, and we realize we're exhausted, and we're no further than we were before, and the waves just keep coming. Or you do what I did and just get out of the water and say, I'm just gonna not I'm I'm this emotion doesn't exist to me anymore. And you just deny it and ignore it and try to try to to compartmentalize

the things that are making you sad and just act like they're not there. You know what I mean? And and the truth is we say sad is bad, but the the reality we're gonna see today in God's word is,

and and the big idea I wanna talk about, it's it's deeply theological. You know, I'm gonna have to explain some of these words to you. Sad isn't bad. Like, were you busy this week? Bill, he's just like, I need a big idea. Sad isn't bad? There you go. No. It's actually very sound. And because we wanna think of it as bad.

Just like we've said in this whole series, especially if if if you're new here, and first of all, if you're new here and you walked in right when Jonesy was doing that, you probably thought, what on earth is this church all about? But also, if you hadn't heard any of these other sermons, we've been unpackaging the feels,

all the feels, talking about feelings and what are we supposed to do with them? Because you can't control them, but you're supposed to manage them. And what we've talked about is that feelings are guides not goals.

And the mistake we often make is we think they're a goal. And the goal is the list of the good ones, the ones that feel good, the goal is to get to them and get away from every one of the ones that don't feel good. The problem is if you live that way, you will make a lot of bad decisions to try to get rid of a bad feeling

in order to feel a good feeling, so to speak. And so we're talking about how do we manage them? What do we do with them? And sadness needs to be served. I said a quote in first sermon, Noah said, hey, we can't control emotions. They come like waves at the ocean, the beach.

But we can decide which ones to surf, and we need to learn how to surf, sadness, so we can get to the shore of where God wants us to go with it. And so that's what we're gonna look at today. We're gonna be in

a a Psalm 13. This whole series has been in these Psalms, which was poetry that was songs. The the the Israelites sang these. This was their hymn book. And and all the feels show up very strong. The feelings, because Psalms are one of the few parts of scripture where where it's less about God talking to us,

but he's inspired these writers and it's us talking to him. And we can learn from them, and we can and we can see. So we're gonna be in in in in Psalms

13, and just a little bit of background to this, Psalm 13 was written by David, and we've talked about King David. And this was written during that period I've talked about before, was if you don't know anything about King David, he was a little shepherd boy that got anointed,

that that the prophet said, you're gonna be the next king.

And then his life proceeded to head upwards towards that goal, like everything seemed to be working out the way you would think if you're gonna be king. He ends up showing up at his brothers where they're at camp fighting this Philistine army, there's this giant named Goliath that's taunting and making everybody wet themselves and run away. And then he's like, why won't someone fight him? The battle belongs to the Lord. He's all talking bravado. Everyone thinks he's crazy. He goes the king hears about it. He says, you wanna fight this guy? Says, yeah, I'll fight this this guy. What do I get for it? He goes, I'll you can marry my daughter.

And and he goes, alright, I'll do it. And and he goes out, kills him. Now he's a hero. And he's now in the family. He be keeps he becomes a great warrior. He becomes the king's guard. He's the guy that protects the king. He's now in the family. His everything is trending towards that promise from God.

And then all of a sudden, that king that was there got jealous, goes crazy, doesn't listen to God, tries to kill David multiple times. And then David goes on the run, and now he becomes like Captain America after the movie Civil War. He goes from hero to war criminal that now everybody's looking for.

And and this was written during that period of time. And like I said, if you were here the last time I talked about this,

that period of time when you read in the Bible, it covers a number of chapters, it feels like, oh, that was over maybe a few weeks or a month or two. This period of time where he was on the run for his life was ten years. And it got worse and worse and worse. He was living in caves, which with the housing

prices these days, maybe a cave would be and probably still cost $4.25, you know. But he he's living in a cave, and and he's he's he's on the run. He's even had to act as a mercenary to a country that was traditionally Israel's enemy. He's just doing whatever it takes to survive.

And he wrote a lot of Psalms during this period. This one was probably written later on in the period. So he's been he's had this promise from God that looked like it was going one way, and his life for the last five, six, seven years, we don't know, has been going exactly the opposite direction. That's

the heart of the man who's inspired to write this. And in here, I think we're gonna see in these six verses three things on on how to surf through sadness by how he handles it. So let's read the first two verses.

It says, oh Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? Does that sound like a happy person? He goes, how long will you look the other way?

So he's he's saying, hey God, like how long are you gonna forget about me? Forever? It's like it's like, do you even remember telling me I'd be king? Like, did you forget to write it in your day timer? Like, hey, in the future point, make this guy king. Did you not write it down? And not only are you not forgetting that, you're not even looking my direction.

And he goes, how long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? So he's every day. He said this is a sadness that's pummeling him. And he goes, how long will my enemy have the upper hand? So David's crying. He's talking to God, but what is he telling him first? He opens up

by talking about why he's sad. And I think we need to do that too. When sadness comes, I think the thing you've got to do, the way you start to find that channel to get out so you can turn in and then start to ride the wave of sadness to where it should go,

is the first thing you've to look as you're standing there scanning for how to go is you have to clarify your sadness. We need to clarify our sadness before God. Not just clear like I'm sad about this, but he's talking to God about it, he's

trying to think about it and he's had time and he and he's processing it. And then you think like like the last part of verse two,

that's the that's the basic level. When he says, oh, how long will my enemy have the upper hand? He's literally fighting battles and battles and running away. So he's like, he he's basically probably facing another battle. He's like, how long are they gonna have the upper hand when they're chasing me?

Well, that we think that that's the only thing that's making him sad, but it's not. In those two verses, you say he reveals that he got past the original thing. Yeah, running for your life is a pretty obvious thing to stress you out and make you sad and depressed.

But I don't think that's what's causing him anguish day in and day out. It's what he said before that. When he says, will you forget me forever? Will you look the other way?

He realized, yeah, it is sad. His circumstances are sad. But what he spent the most time talking about in those first two verses is the promise that God had given him that doesn't seem to be happening. He's more sad because he feels like God isn't there. He feels like he's disconnected.

He feels like, when's this promise going to happen? You made me a promise. It was going this direction. Now it's going the other way. Are you there? Do you care? Are you looking my way? Or are you looking my way? Because here's what happens to us too. David, I know he probably struggled with this because I do and I know you do too. When you think that this is happening, like, hey, thought God was gonna help me out. I thought he was gonna be there for me. I'm not seeing it in my life. So you either think there's something wrong with God or you start to think there's something wrong with you.

Like, God must just not love me. I must be just the biggest loser and or I'm doing something wrong, and then you get worried about that. What am I supposed to do to make God now give me the promise because I'm not happy? And and then you get caught into this cycle.

When the first thing we need to do when we're sad is to actually clarify it. Get clarity on what's really making me sad because a lot of us stop at the basic level. You know, I have to wear a mask.

That's it. If I just, God, take that away and I'll be happy. Well, it's been taken away and some of y'all still aren't happy.

It's it's it's dig down deeper. You gotta peel the onion on this one.

And when it comes to clarifying your sadness, I said this in the first week but I'm gonna say it again just in case you weren't around. I'm dealing with the spiritual aspect of sadness which every bit of sadness, no matter where it comes from, ultimately is a spiritual issue as well.

But some of the ways you need to clarify our sadness is sometimes the first thing to do. If you have a sadness that's just you can't seem to bust past, you're just constantly sad and you get happy for a moment when something's but then you're sad again. In other words, if you keep experiencing sadness that is disproportionate

to the issues that is causing you sadness, there's something else going on. And so one of the first things to do is first, it could be physical. Go see a doctor. And it might be a hormone level thing or it literally could be sometimes when you have a disease or you're sick. You literally it messes with your emotions.

So see a doctor. Some of us need to not just pray to God and talk like he has the power to do this, but some of us, you've had so much emotion. Maybe you're keeping sad because it's a shadow from past trauma or just incredibly bad or weird things that have happened to you in the past or

just bad relationships or something that you need to go talk to someone about. You need to see a counselor.

Counseling isn't admitting defeat. You know what a counselor is? It's that guy that walked up to me and said, can I show you how to surf?

But we all need to deal with this part too. Just wanted to say that again because I'm like, if you are some might be absolutely full blown clinical depression. I think in some ways David was at these moments. And you might need more help.

I would seek that. That will help you clarify. But here he is, he's saying hey, you know what this is, I'm anguish, I'm sad. Have you been there? Have you ever? What is the one thing right now that's like that's making me sad? But if you stop with that, you need to do the why. Why is that making me so sad?

There might be something more down there. Let me give you example. My wife and I are and I'm gonna use this in the sermon and it's

gonna be hard because it's we're right in the middle of it. This isn't one of these stories that happened to me and I'm able to craft it and wordsmith it. It's like I'm I'm and this is real life, real time right now. I'm gonna let us be an example. My wife said I can do this, so don't think I'm a jerk. It's just like sharing all my wife's stories. And she said you can you can share this. We are dealing well, she has been dealing more with sadness because our youngest daughter

just graduated from high school,

and on her own, she's super smart, you know, got strays, she never told us she applied to colleges on her own, did all of her stuff herself, and then came to us and let us know that she had applied and got accepted and is planning on going to the University of Greenwich in London, England. Well, that was kind of a

shock to to to us, we're especially her mom. And and and so so so so it's like, okay, so our kid graduated, she's sad. You're sad. Your last kid's graduated, but now she wants to go really far away. So she's first, it's been dealing with the sadness of my daughter wants to go really far away. And so you could stop there.

Well, if you stop there, then you you know what you think the solution is? Make sure she doesn't.

You know, undermine it. Well, I'm not paying for it. You know, that and you know, it's like there's ways. You and that's what happens when we just don't wanna have sad as bad. The sad is she's gonna leave, so I'm gonna do whatever it takes to stop that from happening. That's what a lot of us do as parents. We think we're all super cool with our kids. We we're we're like we sometimes treat them like chess pieces.

And and so we got talking and I could tell she was sad, but she kept staying sad. So I told her, it's like it's no big deal. It's like she'll either go or not. Then I'm kinda like, what does it matter? I mean, it's seventythirty. We can't pay for it anyway. So and and and yet she stayed sad. Yeah. Just like that.

It's exactly what happens. I think I fixed the problem for her and then it's like, what did I do? It's worse. Because that's what guys do. And and so I'm like, well, I gotta help her surf this thing. You know, I gotta I gotta help her navigate this thing. So I'm like, I'm trying to help her, and finally

she realizes you peeled the onion back, she goes, okay, I think it's deeper than just she's gonna be gone. She realized it's our last kid that's gonna be gone. You know, it's the last child. So that started to hit her. Like basically, I called parenting there's phase one and then phase two.

Phase two is you're still their parent but you're more like a coach and if you did phase one well, you really enjoy phase two. If you did phase one poorly, you pretty much stay in phase one. So she's realizing that's ending. And then and so that's making you really sad.

And I'm but you know what? That kinda made me sad. Because I'm like, wait. You're super sad that our last kid's moving out. That means

you know where I'm going with this, don't you? That means the thought of only having me is making you cry. So now I'm sad, but that's not what she meant, but it kinda feels that way. That's what someone says. It's not personal. It kinda feels like it is.

Like the thought of us having more free time and be able to just do it, go wherever we want, whenever we want. No, that's no, no. Still sad. Stuck with you.

All the people I really care about just left. They were like shields. And I joke, some of you, that is your struggle.

Especially if you don't work on marriage. Some of you with young kids, if you're not careful, kids are going leave and you're going have nothing to talk about. But you got to peel the onion, see what I mean? There's layers to it, layers to it. Always, okay, why am I sad? Well, it's because of this. Well,

why is that making me so sad? Start digging in. So then what does he say next? Next two verses.

Turn and answer me, oh my lord. Like, looks like you can hear the just the crack. He's like it's almost like frustrating. Turn and answer me. Have you ever said that? It's like, hey, talk to me.

And you ever turn and answer? You ever get so frustrated with something that you're you're you're stressed and they're not even looking at you? Hey, would you look at me? Look at me and answer me.

Restore the sparkle to my eyes or I will die. Now that's interesting. Keep that in mind because the first thing he says here is not take away the sadness. It's not about that. He's saying if I don't get that sparkle back, that relationship,

it's really more of a relational type of thing almost there. He's going in and out. He talks about what's really making him sad, but he's also talking about that relational. I need that sparkle back. That sparkle that I looked at you with awe, and I trusted you, and I'm

struggling with that, because if I don't get that back, I might as well be dead.

And then he says, don't let my enemies gloat saying we have defeated him. Don't let them rejoice at my downfall. Now that could be taken a couple of ways, and I think it means both ways. It could be taken as don't let me die in this. Like, he's actually saying, God, am I not gonna be king?

I I I don't let that happen. I don't. But he's also saying don't let them gloat. And it's said in the in the way that it's like they're already doing that. I can understand that. A lot of you could probably understand, especially guys. Well, maybe I'm the only one. Of all the things,

there's one thing that gets me riled up and stressed out and frustrated more than anything else, is when someone misrepresents who I am. And I don't even mean they don't even have to say it. I just know they think it. When someone thinks something about me that's not true, like I'm uncool, that is so not true.

I might have lied. But when people like, you know, when when when I know someone's thinking something that's not accurate about me, it's frustrating to me. It eats at me. I wanna go find that person, and and then then and then I think if I use enough words, I will convince them otherwise.

And and I'm like, I will find that nine year old, and I will tell them, you're wrong about me. And and I don't know about you, but he he he's frustrated

because he's like he's not only frustrated, he's like, hey, where are you? I'm worried about don't give me the sparkle. I want the relationship I wanna know. Don't let me die. Don't let him win. And you know what's worst of all? Is you're the one that told me I'd be king. I have trusted you. I have followed you. I'm the one that killed Goliath when everyone else was afraid. I'm the one that actually the king you know in in the battle of David and Goliath? In that era when when one warrior challenges, if you don't have any champion that steps up, you know who's supposed to go fight him? The king.

He goes, I stepped into the role that the king wimped out on and I won. I'm the one that's supposed to be the winner and everyone's thinking of me as the loser. And he goes, stop it, God. I can't take it anymore. So he clarified what he's sad about, but now he clearly what he does here is he cries out to God. Second point,

to remove the sadness. Cry out to God to remove your sadness. When when you really dig down into what it is, and part of his sadness isn't just make me be king because he dug deeper. He's realizing I need to feel and have our relationship. I feel like I'm not close to you.

I need that. So he's crying out. He's being very honest with God. And I just tell you, I go, I think we we we make this mistake that we think that we have to be good before God. So we got to figure out how to pray right. We got to figure out how to how to do it right. And and and and and and so we don't we're not just honest. You know the safest person to complain to and really be honest about where you're at in life is? God.

But we don't. We hide. We hide from other people. When life's not working right and we're really sad, we stop going to community. We get erratic at church. We don't go to God with our complaint. We go to everyone else to complain about God. And we run away and we hide. But we need to learn that it is okay.

The best safest place to let your most raw emotions out is before the Lord.

If you don't believe me, I wanna read a few verses from the book of Job. Job was a guy that God said is totally righteous. I I love him. Satan said, no. He only does this because you've given him so much stuff. So he goes, alright. Take anything you want. You just can't kill him. And just starts dismantling his life.

And and Job gets frustrated.

He won't sin. He won't he won't turn against God, but he does have a complaint. He gets really honest before God. He's like, God, you need to tell me what I did wrong. If this is all bad happening, I need to know what happened. And here's how he says it in verse chapter 10 verse one through three. I am disgusted with my life. You ever felt like that? You're just so frustrated.

Let me complain freely. He's like, he's just gonna talk to God. My bitter soul must complain. And then he goes, I will say to God, don't simply condemn me. Tell me the charge you're bringing against me. If you wanna condemn me, it's okay. You have the right to do it. You're God. But can you at least tell me why?

And then verse three says, what do you what do you gain by oppressing me? Why do you reject me, the work of your own hands, while smiling on the schemes of the wicked? That's pretty honest. In the end, he finds out it's not accurate. But God let him say it. He just talked to him.

What's really causing the sadness?

Have you clarified it? And are you crying out to God about it? You know it's not just Job that did this. Jesus himself cried out to God in sadness and pain when he was on the cross.

He he at that moment because he took on all of our sin. The weight of that as a man but even as God. And so God the father basically had to separate and turn from him and let him take this. And in the midst of all of that pressure and suffering, he had cried out, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Here's the crazy part about that. Think about how so and Jesus never sinned. It's okay to cry to God. If you feel it, why does it feel like I'm forsaken? Jesus did it. Here's a crazy little cool teacher tidbit here though. When he said that, Jesus was quoting Psalm 22. You know who wrote Psalm 22?

Another song about a time when he was feeling forsaken during this period of of wandering in the wilderness being sought after? David. Think about how weird that is.

The Holy Spirit inspires David because David is kinda called a Christ type. This is a little teachy stuff for you. And and and see, he's he's a precursor. He's not he's not a perfect he's a good king. He's this great he's called a man for God's own heart, but he's kind of a precursor. He's a human form of failed version of say, but there's gonna become a greater king. A greater king from the line of David that will save the world. So what David went through, a lot of what he went through was a precursor to point to Jesus.

So when he was struggling through this wilderness wondering where is God's promise? I'm all alone in his eyes. He cried out, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? But imagine then when Jesus comes along and he quotes him that he wrote it. Can you imagine David sitting in heaven watching this happen?

Like, when he was in the middle of that, I don't then it works out in the end, and now he's with god, and he's watching the messiah. Oh, that's the king that I was waiting for. That's what we were looking towards. And he gets to watch this happen. And all of a sudden, he cries out, my God, my God, why why have you forsaken me? He's like,

quote your sources. No. I don't think he would say that. But but he he think of how cool God is this this weird mystery of how he let him struggle but he was there for him and that when he went through and when he wrote, then later on the Messiah himself quotes him.

You know what that tells us? What Jesus went through? Whatever you're going through? Just like David realized Jesus went through what he went through? Jesus knows how you feel.

Plain and simple. It's a cool thing about him, taking on the nature of a man and living amongst us. Every pain and everything we've experienced, he experienced.

He just never experienced any pain from his own brokenness, but he experienced a lot of pain from the brokenness in this world.

And you know what? Jesus even asked God once the night before he was crucified. When he was sweating blood, he was under so much stress. And he prayed to God about what was going to happen the next day. He said, if it's possible, take this cup from me.

Jesus understands when you feel that sadness and that crushingness of life so heavily that you just want to ask God to go, even if it if it's the right thing to do and you know you have to do it, it's okay. So God, if it's possible, is there another way?

But we know what Jesus said next though. You can't just stop at that. But then Jesus said this, But not my will, thy will be done. Jesus was God. Yet he submitted to the will of the Father. And I don't know why we have such a hard time with submitting to God's will. We are so arrogant. Jesus himself, who is God,

chose to submit. And just like I said, David is kind of an imperfect foreshadowing. The last two verses, he did the same thing that Jesus did in the garden. By the end of this Psalm, he starts off so honest and crushed. But then look at verse five. But,

but, remember what they say, if you you know, I learned this in cemetery, I mean seminary. Look for the buts. And there's lot of big buts in the Bible, as Pat said.

And and and and the but means I'm about to respond to it doesn't matter. Despite this, this is what's gonna happen. And he says, but I trust in your unfailing love.

I will rejoice because you have rescued me. He's in the middle of this. He's saying, I'm gonna choose to rejoice because I know I'll ultimately be rescued. And here's the truth. We know Jesus, and we know that even if whatever is making you sad now takes your life, and you know Jesus, you're already rescued.

Not from that moment, but for all of eternity.

And and and so he goes, I know you'll rescue me. And then in verse six, I will sing to the Lord because he's good to me. So it ends with a song. These are songs he ended up singing. I know this is like a broken record in this series, but when you go into songs, you can't not talk about worship and corporate worship and singing together. There's something about us worshiping together that actually helps us surf the sadness.

Because when we sing about who God is, and we sing his word, and we declare who he's like he's saying, when you sing of his unfailing love, when you sing a song like we just sang, there's another in the fire. You know that's referring to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego thrown in a fiery furnace. They're supposed to burn up. They didn't. King goes and looks. He's like, what? There's there's a fourth one in there. There's another one in the fire, and it looks like the son of God. Jesus was conga lining with them in the in the fire. So even if you end up in the fire,

it's okay. And and that's what he's saying. He's clinging to that. He's looking to that. He's saying, hey, I know. Even in the middle of this, I choose this. Because he knows.

Not my will but thy will be done God. And so he's honest and he sings. Some of us, I'm telling you it sounds, it's such a simple point but I don't know why so many of you resist it. And you know that God wired us where music actually helps. Every guy in this room that won't sing,

I guarantee you wouldn't put some of your favorite music on when you were 14 in pimply faced and that girl rejected you.

You know that you can choose to do something that helps you surf through something.

And that's what David's talking about. In other words, what he chooses to do here, you clarify our sadness before God, you cry out to God to remove our sadness, but in the end you also cling to the love of God through our sadness. When he says trust,

a lot of times when we hear trust in our culture, which we're gonna talk about trust next week, that'll be the end of this series, we're gonna look at that. But when he talks about trust here, when we hear trust, we always think of it like a it's another it's a feeling, it's an emotion, It's something you feel.

That's not the word here. The word there is why I said cling. It means to cling to, to hold on to. It's an action word.

To trust means to obey, to follow, to go in the direction. Meaning, what I'm telling God I'm gonna do, I actually am clinging to his unfailing love, which means I'm gonna follow the way of his unfailing love. I am not gonna sit here in my sadness and get so bitter and complain to about God instead of to God, and and and that I'm gonna go, I'm not doing anything God wants me to do till he changes something.

Don't run away from God when you're sad. You should run into God's purpose in your life no matter what. No matter what. It's saying to cling. And what really helps you to do that is his never ending love. That's that word that Pat talked about a few weeks, chesed, or I guess in Hebrew chesed. And and and it means

never ending. Remember he said never, never, never, never, never, never, 14 times. It literally means it won't end. What he's trusting is even though it feels this way,

I know God loves me. And I'm going to rejoice in the rescue that I know will be there eventually. And I will sing a song about his goodness in the middle of it. In the middle of it. I will sing, there's another in the fire with me.

Cling to his love. And you know what that responding with worship is like when I told you the surfing illustration, how you have to start paddling before the wave comes. You got to worship before anything's happening.

Because if you know insert, you know if you don't paddle, the wave will go right over the top and leave you. Some of us, God's sending an answer. Something's going to move us, but we're just sitting there. We got our hands right down by the side looking like a seal so a shark can all attack you.

When what you need to be doing is putting your hands above your head and start moving. Start praising Jesus. Start worshiping Him. Start trusting Him. Start following Him. And then when that wave comes, you'll catch it. Simple message. Clarify, cry at to, cling to.

Problem is what we tend to do or maybe it's only me that tends to do this. I need to preach this to myself almost every day, is we don't truly clarify our sadness but we start calling for it to stop.

So we get to that basic level. The first thing made is sad. Well, I lost my job. God, I need a job. Need all we stop at that level. So we just start, give me a job, give me or it's something to unify. Just stop the fight. You stop. You you you don't clarify. You just start calling out for the that initial thing to stop.

And the problem is when you do that, you cling to your fear. We cling to our fears and our frustrations, not to God's love. And when I start clinging to the fear and frustration, you know what I'll then do? I will cling to anything that comes along that makes me not sad anymore.

That's how affairs happen. That's how addictions happen. That that that is how we just run away. We cling to the wrong thing because we've gotten in the mode that all I want is this sadness to stop and so I will do anything to make that stop.

And the problem is when you run after those things, yeah, it stopped that one simple level sadness, but how many more did it create?

When your marriage is broken and you have kids because you ran after that affair because you were wanting to feel more important or the sadness that you're not getting paid attention to and all this, but now what did you do to your kids? What did you do to the next generation? You've created so many more sadnesses by not

just clinging to God's love.

And then you know what we become? We become spiritual eeyores. I've told you guys before I hate eeyores, so I hate it when I am one. And and and and you just well, this is and you just get bitter. Let me go back to that story about my wife and I dealing with sadness right now because I didn't tell you all of it.

Remember until you have to peel it back and she realized our daughter's moving far away, there is real sadness, our daughter's going to be out of the house. Next layer, we're done having kids in the house. It didn't stop there.

I watched my wife still getting sad and sad and sad. In fact, I'd walk in, we're getting ready for bed at night and I'd see her and she'd be kinda you know, just have this face. I just know the face. I'm like, uh-oh, something's bothering her. And I just pray to God, hope I didn't do something stupid and she's mad at me.

Or if I'm in a bad mood, I'll bring it. If you wanna fight, I'll oblige you. But I go, what's going on? Nothing, nothing, and then all of a sudden tears. I just am so sad still. I'm so sad. And you know this, like why won't she can't get past this? There's something, there's more going on.

And so then you know being me, I'm like I gotta coach her how to surf through this, but I do it like a guy, like how's the what's the quickest way I can fix this problem? And

so I start talking, I was like why are you being so sad? It's no big deal, it's this and that. And we start unpacking stuff, and she goes, but it's not that, whatever, la la, you know, and she's been praying about it. She's been doing these steps. She's just trying but she goes, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do but but I but then she felt like, okay, but then I feel like now I feel kinda distant from god in this and she's wrestling with it and all that And and and we just we just keep talking about what's what what's what's the real problem? So we go to a deeper level, and she starts to go, well, it's not just that. I feel like, is she gonna be safe there?

Is is and how is she and what do mean by safe? And then it starts to reveal there's another little piece to her. It's like, my wife has has this issue of of of instead of just helping someone with their burdens, somehow she lets the burden transfer to herself.

And that's why sometimes she doesn't wanna be someone's friend because she thinks she's gonna just get so worn out feeling their burdens when when that's that's her fault, you know, in a way she even knows it. She'll take on a burden. Well, she she does it mainly with our kids.

And and and and so she's realizing, she starts talking about her daughter. Was like, well, you know what? I'm just I'm consumed with all these thoughts. Like, if she goes all the to England, how is she gonna wash her clothes? How is she gonna do she's naming off all this stuff. And I'm like, I'm just thinking I can fix it easy. I go, well, you know what? It is a college where people come from all over the world. I'm pretty sure they probably

tell them how to do that. I mean, have been doing that for a long time. I'm sure they didn't go and, oh, you're from America? You need to wash your clothes?

In the eight in the in the three hundred years this institution has been open. We've never thought about that.

Can you see how I was probably not helping my wife in that moment? And I kept pushing back. I kept saying all this stuff and she goes, no, goes deeper, it goes deeper. And then she was crying and then she thought about it and then the next morning she was crying again and and and and and she finally hit

this level where she says, I realize I didn't think I did this until this moment. Until my last child is going. I have found my identity in being a mom and a phase one mom. She didn't think she did. You know, she never she assumed my identity is in Christ. I like being a mom. Wasn't until she was confronted with the empty house

that she realized, what am I now?

And you know what? We realized that that was causing all these other little fights

because she realized she was starting to complain about, what is my job? What am I really I help plant the church, but where's my vision? You're up front. You did this. I don't know. What am I supposed to be doing? And and she's challenging everything in her life. Like like looking at, well, is that an identity? Is that an she's looking at all of her stuff and and and it was just looking kinda it looks really crazy, but she just had to she had to keep clarifying, keep digging in, keep paddle finding the channel to paddle out to figure out where the sadness really is and and what's going on. And so I kept talking about it. Go, yeah. That's we can't do that. We can't find our so I'm telling her to not find the identity in in in in that. And then she actually said the opposite of what I thought. She goes, and then on top of that, I realized I had this identity issue and this just happened this morning,

so that's why this story probably doesn't make a lot of sense to you because I didn't really think about it. I'm just telling it. Because you're my therapist. Thank you. And and and so this morning, she goes, you know what?

I I actually go in this shame and guilt cycle like, okay. I felt my identity, but now my oldest daughter wants to go so far away, so that's a rejection.

So I failed at that identity, but then I know I wasn't supposed to find my identity. So now I'm mad twice. I failed twice. I failed because I put my identity in the wrong thing, and then I didn't even do that right.

And that's how she felt. And then she said she goes and then she goes, now and now I don't even know how we're gonna pay for it, what we're gonna do. And she started sharing all these things that she feels like I I I'm gonna fail in that and not be able to to to get it and then her moving away is actually a rejection of me.

And she starts talking about I feel like I've I've I've I've not only did I find my identity, but I feel like I didn't even do the right part right because of all this.

And I said don't worry about it.

We don't have no idea how much this costs. The way they do it in England, they won't let us know anything until they get her final transcripts. Which stresses us out because the one thing my daughter truly decides to be like me on is I want that, I'm going take a risk. Go big or go home.

Because she applied to a lot of college. One of them was a really prestigious, very expensive school in New York. We didn't know she applied till she got the letter. And I'm like, oh, you applied there? Yeah, that's like 50,000

a year just to go there. I go, good luck. And she goes, I knew. I just wanted to know. She opens it up. Yep, I got accepted. And I go, okay. She goes, hey, they gave me a $46,000 scholarship. So I was like, go there.

Now, she had to tell them by May 1. She burned that ship, just sunk it. It's England or nothing.

So that's stressing my wife out. And I'm trying to coach her, and then I realized in that moment when she's saying, are we gonna be able afford this? Because we don't know what's gonna cost. We don't know how financial aid works. We don't know and I go, don't worry about it. She's probably not going anyway. She's not going anyways. It's probably not gonna work. And then all of a sudden, here's the kicker. You thought this whole story is about my wife? No.

All that was build up. Right in that moment, I lost it. I just started crying. I couldn't stop the tears.

And I realized the whole time I was trying to show her how to surf is because I was sitting in the sand.

She was trying to fight through the waves, but at least she was wet.

I was in denial. I was staying on the sand and I wouldn't even face it. I said excuse like, why are you pre morning? She hasn't even left yet. And really, I was talking myself into not feeling it because to me, that sad was bad.

And I realized you feel like your identity and you failed as a parent. I feel like a failure as a provider. Because my daughter is smart and she has a dream and she wants to go off and do these great things and I think she should. I think that's kids are supposed to leave. That's why I didn't understand my wife's

I go, I'm not like you. You'd they they they should leave. They should if if they wanna go off on adventure stuff, we did something right.

Want to live in our basement till they're 40, we did something wrong.

But I realized I feel like a loser if she can't do it. And all those fears, I was denying them because I know what happens if I find out that this is too much. And then I'm going to have to be the one to tell her. And I'm going to break her heart. And then I have a fear that she's going to be bitter towards me.

And that's where I am right now. This isn't a story that happened to me. This is a story that I'm in the middle of.

So I choose to do what David did.

I had to be honest with that. I had to dig down in there and see where that came from. And I think it came from the one thing that I always worried about in ministry is

I used to jokingly tell my kids, especially when we lived in Orange County, hey, your friends, you're going see them get a lot of stuff, you ain't getting that. And I acted all tough like I didn't care. It didn't affect me because I know they don't need all that stuff. But man, when it hits you in real life,

in a moment like this,

I feel like I failed her. And I'm sad.

But I know why. And I'm talking to God about it and saying, God, you've to make it clear one way or the other because if it's in the middle, I'm going to just lose it. I need to know, no obvious or yes obvious. If it's, I'm my head's gonna explode. That's what I'm praying.

But I don't regret serving God. And I know whatever is going to happen in the end, it will be for good. And it forced me to evaluate my trust of him, my relationship with him. And hey, am I going to live out what I tell you guys to live out? So you know what? Sad isn't bad. It's just feels that way. How about you?

Father God, I just thank you, Lord. I thank you that even in these moments where you just feels just stressful, kind of hopeless.

And Lord, even in this moment for my wife and I in a moment that even what we're sad about, I feel like a failure for even being sad about it.

And I know there's people in this room that feel the same way about stuff in their life. So Lord, I just want to pray for all of us, everyone in here, everyone online. Lord, that we could just let your word, the words you gave David when he was in one of those moments.

God, keep bringing clarity as to what you're showing us in our lives about what is really making us sad. Lord, give me the willingness and everyone in this room to cry out to you. Lord, you gotta you gotta help me fix this sadness. But then may we get up and cling to your love that never ends through it all.

I pray that for myself and every single one of us. And I pray it in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen. Amen.