Chasing Bigfoot | Part 4

I think it's similar with parenting too. If you went on the Internet and said, how to be a good parent, you're gonna find so many contradictory statements, so many things out there. And yet there are certain things about parenting, these principles that seem to keep lasting. They're myths. They seem to just stick.

There's just enough sightings of them working that they say, here is what you can do to be the perfect parent. And that's what we've been kind of talking about. We've been trying to take some of these contradictory saints, some of these these myths out there and laying them next to the truth of God's word. That's why we're calling it chasing bigfoot.

And today's myth is the same as all the others so far is like, if you don't

have kids or you walked in here, you're new, you're like, well, I don't have kids, or I don't want to acknowledge my kids, or I wanna forget about having had kids, or or whatever it is. You think that you're not gonna get anything out this. But trust me, what we said the first week is, you know, the the the heart of parenting starts in the heart of a parent. And so what we've been talking about is all the stuff we've been learning to do is it's what God says that we need to be in our hearts. So this is good stuff. This is a discipling moment. This is things that all of us need to engage with whether or not we have kids. What makes it a parenting series is we then turn it and say, so what does this mean? How do I pass this on? How do I take my children down this path? But it's a path we all need.

And so today's myth is very much strongly in that same vein. And the myth we want to look at today is simply this. I need to teach my children to find significance success. What that means is I need to the the the real goal of parenting is to to to show my kids, teach them, and train them to be successful.

To be successful. That's actually a myth as we're going to see. But you're going see success isn't the enemy. But here's the truth. The truth we're gonna look at is I need to show my children the path of significance is found only in Christ. So instead of teaching them success,

we need to show them the path of significance. And and so this myth is what is significance versus success? And I wanna look at it. We're gonna look at it in a passage of scripture found in Luke chapter 12,

and there's a story that Jesus teaches. And and and you're gonna say, wow. I've never heard this applied to parenting because it applies to our lives. This passage Jesus is teaching about here is how you find significance in life.

And here's how you get past just the success model into the significance model. And it's it's it's in, like I said, Luke chapter 12.

We're gonna start in verse 13, but I just to set up the first 12 verses that Jesus just got done teaching. And and he's he just got done teaching on fearing God above all else. And that doesn't mean fear like, oh, no. God's care it's like I care more about what God wants than anything else. That if I learn

to respect and and and just trust and fear the Lord, I don't have to worry or fear anything else. That's the whole point. Fearing the Lord gives you boldness in life.

If you don't fear the Lord, you're gonna be afraid of a lot of things. There's gonna be a lot of worry. So he got done teaching this incredibly of that significance in life is pursuing a rich relation with God. He just gets done teaching that. And right when he's done, someone comes up, teacher, I got a question.

And I can so relate to this as he I'll preach a sermon, and someone will walk up and ask a question. And I'm telling you, there are some questions I get. There's no dumb question. It's just the mouth that said it, but still no. No. I'm just kidding. It's almost as if the question is, were you listening?

Did anything that was just spoke make any sense to you? That's what happens in this moment. So watch. It says it says, then someone called from the crowd, verse 13, teacher, please tell my brother to divide our father's estate with me. So he just got done teaching about fear God. Don't have to worry about anything else and trust it. And his thing is he goes to Jesus and and and doesn't ask question.

He gives Jesus a command. Jesus, I need you to do something for me. So he does. You know, you think, okay. He did the right thing. He he's at church,

and he literally Jesus is the one actually teaching. So he calls out to Jesus. Jesus, this is what I need for you. This is what I need. But the problem is he's not so much saying I need help to follow you, Jesus, to fear you. I need you to do something for me, Jesus.

I I want you. It's kinda like he has a he's he's sitting there at the kingdom of God. Jesus got teaching about it. The kingdom of God, he's like, yeah, I want the kingdom for. Just remember that for a minute. He has a kingdom for mentality. It's I'm approaching the kingdom to God, but it's for me.

I need something from Jesus to do what I want him to do. And then the reason is we were gonna see what this guy's heart is. I mean, because Jesus is gonna tell a story he knows exactly why this guy had to ask this question. And and and the reality is in their culture, what he's probably doing is he has an older brother. And then the older brother got most of the estate.

And so he's worried about the money. He feels like he's getting ripped off. So he's getting the short end of the stick. He wants the success. He wants the money. So he's trying to use God to say, hey, Jesus. Tell him to split that with me. It's the ultimate, the Twinkie. I got the small part of the Twinkie. Tell dad tell tell make him cut the Twinkie different.

That's what he wants. It's this kingdom for and I get it. Good. Before I go on and read, just wanna learn what I mean by that. Because this is this is the heart of the issue we might have in our own hearts, this idea of success versus significance. And if you're a parent,

even coming to church, you might be teaching your kids this. Yeah. We'll come to church. We'll go hear about the kingdom of God. We'll learn about Jesus. And then we'll learn to go to Jesus and say, it's God's kingdom for my plan. Kingdom for.

Happens a lot. Like, a lot of people come up to me after a sermon and and and want something. Like, especially, here's the marriage series. Talking about marriage. Someone walk up. You know what? That was great. Can you tell my spouse to do this? It's always I need you or reach out Facebook.

Need you to talk to my significant other. It's it's all that. It's like, well, didn't I just talk about you can only do you? And you need to pray for them and work about you and look at you first? Oh, yeah. That's fine. But you need to do this. You know, I go, you don't want counsel. You want muscle.

You want me to come in like a, hey. Hey. Hey. I hear you just haven't been treating your spouse right.

Well, you better get it together, capisce. Otherwise, Jesus is gonna knock your kneecaps out with a lightning bolt. Gotta understand? You know, that's what you want. You want me to tell your spouse to do what you want them to do. That's what's happening. And that's a lot of times, that's how we approach God.

We may be Christians. We may come to church, but we think it's a game we play. I come. I sit in the seat. I do the things, and I pray, and I go to God. Kingdom four. I approach God's kingdom. I approach Jesus, and then tell him what I need him to do for me. And Jesus, that's not how it works. That's not how it works.

Because it says, he replied, friend, who made me a judge over you to decide such things as that? Then he said, but now he's gonna give a judgment. He jumps right to what he knows this guy's heart is. He knows what he's struggling with. And so he says, beware. Guard against every kind of greed.

Every kind of greed. Not just money greed. Every kind of greed. Because then he says life is not measured by how much you own. And what he means by now is not just, you know, like today, cars and houses and stuff. It's like, what kind of degree do you have? What kind of sports skill do you have? What kind of of of whatever you have? It's it's life isn't about the stuff of life.

Life isn't just about that. It's not about what you own, the prestige, the whatever it is, the relationship. It's it's not about that. You have to guard your heart against getting greedy towards it. Because when you get greedy and you think life's about that, you're chasing a success model. And that's not gonna work.

Because here's what he goes on to say. Then he tells them a story. And when by the way, tells a story. He gets right to the heart of what he's trying to say. He says a rich man had a fertile farm and produced fine crops. So he was super successful. He said to himself,

self? No. He didn't say that part. He says, what should I do? I don't have room for all my crops. So on that day, that's like money. It's money. He goes, I'm making so much money. I I don't have enough room for all the money. I'm doing well. I'm when it comes to life, he's like, I'm winning. I'm winning at life.

And he goes he said, I know what I'll do. I'll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I'll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods. And then verse 19, I'll sit back and say to myself, my friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now let's take it easy. Eat, drink, and be merry.

But God said to him, in verse 20, you fool. You will die this very night, then you'll get then who will get everything you worked for? So you say, so you've ran after this thing in life. You think that's the goal. But what happens when you die? You're done. You're done. It means nothing.

So then look what he says in verse 21. He's trying to summarize this. He goes, yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth,

but not have a rich relationship with God. There's the big idea. That's that's that's the whole truth opposed to this myth. He's saying, hey. You it's a fool that says you think the goal is to store up the earthly wealth of things, the the money, the possessions, the things, the education, the relationships, all these things. We think that it's it's it's it's winning at that is really the goal. And if I come be a good follower of Jesus, then he'll help me get that.

But he's saying is that's a fool to say that to have all of that, but not have a rich relationship with God. He's saying there's a difference between success and significance. There's a difference. You can have success and no significance. You can also have significance without having success.

It's about a rich relationship with God.

It's not about having a relationship with God to get what you having a rich lifestyle, richness in this world. It's about a rich relationship with him. Now now here's what I wanna say before we jump here. Don't hear what I'm not saying, and don't hear what Jesus is saying. In that entire parable, what he said, he never

ripped on the guy's success. Success wasn't the problem. It's okay to be very successful. It's totally okay. His

problem was the guy's goal with it was wrong. See, what did we say the first week? I said, what's an idol? An idol is when you take anything, even a good thing, and make it the main thing. Because when you take anything and make it the main thing, gets warped.

Everything gets warped. So if you you subtly say, success is fine. God's not opposed to wealth. He's not opposed he's not opposed to retiring early.

I mean, I get it. I mean, it's it's it's it just feels right. Doesn't wouldn't your goal to be be so successful you can retire early? I get some friends that have already retired like four years ago. They're my same age. And you know what how it makes me feel? It makes me want to punch them in the face. That's what it makes money.

Bill. Why? Because you've had this like must be nice. I like to do it. You know, I I did some calculations. You know when I'm gonna be able to retire? Three, four years after I die.

And so I get it. It's it's it's but that's not it's not the fact that he wanted to retire. It's the you'll see in a moment what really the fact is is that his focus wasn't on a relationship with God. His focus was on success. You see, folk here's the deal. Success is not the enemy of significance,

but it it is the number one distraction. Success is not the enemy of significance, but it's the number one distraction. So what is it in your heart? Think about the way you pray. Are your prayers Jesus for? Are you literally more focused on worldly success? And, oh, yeah, need Jesus. But is it a distraction?

And then moms and dads? The way you're parenting, what are you teaching your kids? What do you emphasize with them the most? Is it get good grades? Go to a good school? Be good at sports? Do this.

And put all that effort, all that time, all that money. And, yeah, yeah, you need Jesus. You bring him to church. But really in your heart, what's the emphasis? Which rich relationship with Jesus or success? You can have both, but which one is the main thing for you? Which one?

If you're not a parent, which one in your own heart? And as a parent, which one is in your heart? Because usually what's the main thing in our heart is what we're gonna show our kids. See, so that's what he's going on. And and then and then he he finishes,

and he goes down, and now he explains this to his disciples. He goes, that's why I tell you not to worry about everyday life. You see what he's saying is the heart of chasing after success is the fuel of it is worry.

The emotional fuel we spend on chasing success is worry. That's why you worry about your kids so much. That's why you worry about your job so much. That's why you worry about your house payment so much. Why you worry about this? Because you're focused on success, so you worry. And here's the scary thing. Even if you are successful, that can lead to pride. You can you can think about, look what I did. Look what I'd hey. Look. I'm gonna build a building. Look at me. Look at me, and you're gonna miss the point of a rich relationship with God. But here's what I've noticed with most successful people. They're still worried.

Because now you're like, what happens if this falls apart? What happens to my family? What happens if I lose it? On one end, you're worried about getting it. On the other end, you're worrying about blowing it.

And so he says it's it's it's fueled by worry, not by faith. For he says, for life is more than food and your body more than clothing. Don't worry about what you're gonna eat, drink, sleep, where you're live. Look at the ravens. And he talks about the birds. They don't plant. They don't harvest. They don't and God takes care of them.

And he looks in verse 26. And if you worry can't accomplish a little thing like that, what's the use of worrying over bigger things? Because can can worry add one moment to your life? Matter of fact, studies have proven worry shortens our lives.

Then he goes into verse 27. Look at the lilies. Now they go now he's talking about flowers. He says they don't work to make their clothing, yet they're they're they're dressed out in all this glory. And if God cares, in verse 28, wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown in the fire tomorrow,

He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? Why do we ignore what God's called us to do and go around him worrying about what we're gonna have?

He says, don't be concerned about what you eat and what you drink. Don't worry about such things. Why? Versa 30. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world. But your father already knows your needs. Here it is. Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

Kingdom first. Kingdom first, not kingdom four. It's kingdom first is what he's telling this guy. If you go after the kingdom first, pursue a rich relation with Jesus first. If you embrace that, you can relax and know that God will give you whatever you need. But if you're focused on success,

you have greeds you want. You have things that you say, this is what success is. And the problem is you're gonna wrestle with God all the time because what if you don't have that success? What if you don't get there? Then you think God doesn't like you or doesn't care, and you think you can't have significance that life's means. When he says, wait, wait, wait. All that success is meaningless. That gets buried with you, and it's done. It's gone. But there is this eternal significance that you can have in a rich relationship with me that transcends, and that's what you ought to show your kids. Because what happens if you teach your kids nothing but success? Then they move out and they're not successful.

You know what kind of a spiral you put them into? You wanna talk about a depression and a self identity misunderstanding and a worthiness kind of thing and a and a lack of love, they're gonna feel like absolute failures. And sometimes they go, can't admit it, so I'll just run further away and just fail on purpose.

But what if we teach them what significance is? You can have incredible significance even if by the world standards, you're failing. See, prosperity gospel teaches if I'm good enough, I get more.

That works great in areas like this. But is it honestly, there's not in the in most of Africa, everyone's a terrible Christian that has no real faith. Their lives are meaningless. There's no significance because they're all poor.

See, it doesn't work.

So he goes, so don't be afraid, little flock, for it gives your father great happiness to give you the kingdom. He wants to give us the he wants to invite us to be a part of his plan, and that's what we are built for. And if we keep fighting him for our plan, we turn this into a little game of thrones.

And and I want to be on the iron throne. I want to be the ultimate ruler. I just want to use Jesus' army to get what I want. That's what we're doing. He says it won't work, and that's what we show our kids to do. And then verse 33, he goes back to here was his problem with the guy's success.

This guy's success financially wasn't the problem. It's what he chose to do with it that's the problem.

Because he says, sell your possessions and give those to the need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven, and the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe. No thief can steal it. No moth can destroy it. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will be also.

You get that at the end? He says, wherever your treasure is, there so he's saying, hey, here's what he should have done with that excess. He said, yeah, you can plan for it. You can do these things. But but in your excess, God gives us extra blessings financially to be a blessing, to be a part of what he's doing, to help, not to just get a bigger I'm I'm not just to constantly not God blesses us not to increase our standard of living, but to increase our standard of giving.

We get invited to be a part of what he's doing. And it's interesting how I said, I get it. I want to, but blah blah blah. But but it you notice that last verse? Wherever your treasure is, there your heart will be? Every time I say that, so many of you, especially Christians, what you heard it say was,

I'm gonna put my money where my heart is. You realize that's not what it says at all. Jesus is saying, your heart will go where you put your money. Choose the kingdom. That's the end of it. And he says he's caught up in worry about all these things. And he's saying because this guy is stuck in a success mentality.

And we do that in our own heart. You gotta decide that. And then if we're parents, which path are you setting your kids on? What are you showing them? And to help talk about it, I think there's three mistakes

that are made in this path that Jesus points out. There's three things that we need to avoid. Mistakes to avoid in life

and in parenting that we need to avoid. And and to to help understand and explain mistakes, I'm gonna bring my wife up here. Wait. That didn't come out right. That sounds bad. You're gonna boo me. No. No. She's Carrie's gonna come up here, and we're gonna try to take these three mistakes and kinda talk about it and and put it into our world of here's how we had to deal with this as parents.

And and like we've said every time, we would we don't have enough time to talk about our failures. Right. It's easier to talk about our success because that takes less time. Okay? So so we're gonna talk about that. Thanks for being here, sweetie. Oh, yeah. Happy to be here. Thanks for having me. Awesome.

Alright. You're gonna help us solve all of our problems. Okay? Alright. So the the first thing I think that we see, if we're gonna have a kingdom first mentality and show our kids, is is we have to understand that the first mistake to avoid is in planning for ourselves, which isn't wrong. Mhmm.

But in planning for ourselves, we end up forgetting others. Yeah. And and that's the first mistake that Jesus points out in this guy's life is in this parable is is, okay, you made a plan. That's not the problem. The problem is how often when we plan for ourselves in life, we forget others.

And what's sad is as parents, that's one of the things that irritates us the most about our kids. Right. Especially as they become teenagers.

Especially as they get more freedom. Especially like, why don't you think about the family? Why do you well, maybe we shook them to to to to only plan for themselves and not think about others. You wanna say, you know what?

They're blocked. They can't see. Oh, you're just stuck with the side of my face. So maybe that looked better. I'm sorry. Go ahead. So. Yeah. You threw me on that. What? By by moving that or just my face is so Probably that. You're so awestruck with the handsomeness of your husband that. Right.

I'll just keep going if I you don't start know. I know. You think I'd know this. You think I know. No. So,

yeah, this is very true statement. And I think, you know, as we come up here and and as he was saying, know, it feels like. We need to show them serving others. That's what Yes, we're probably that is what we were talking about. But what I was saying was that I feel like it can get overwhelming because it feels like we

have more failures than successes. But there was, just recently, we came across a situation. Our youngest daughter just turned 16, and she came to us and she told us Explain her a little bit first. I think I did. Did Yeah. You She's our she's our introvert. In

a house full of golden retrievers. Yeah. We call her the cat. She's the one that I said hisses, like literally. She's a little We try to say, well, she's just introverted, but she's friendly, but then we finally realized, no, she's But not

we I feel like, like we we saw this kind of breakthrough because she came to us on her birthday and said, hey, mom and dad, instead of in lieu of gifts, I I wanna I wanna have people donate to a charity. And we're like, my gosh. Where'd that come from? Well, I know, you have a heart. Yeah.

It's I mean, this is the same girl that at a school dance, a boy started to walk up all she look forever to get the confidence to walk up to ask her to dance, and she could tell. He gets like five feet, but she goes, no. Yeah.

I mean, I like that part. That that that that that that warmed my my my father's heart. Yeah. She just did this on her own. And we're like I I thought, I'm so proud of us. I mean, Yeah. Something

went wrong. Something landed. Something landed. So I I you know, really the point with that is just to, you know, keep keep laying that foundation of serving and And the only way you're gonna teach your kids to think of others is you have to do it. And you have to show them. And and there's this this there's no like

connect the dots. It's just in your in your home figure out what are some ways I can connect them and serve. And one of the things we love to do around here at our church is we like to provide opportunities

that that that you could actually serve in ways that you can invite your kids along with. I mean, there's lots of things. I I love when I'm watching people set up and take down. They bring their kids, they're carrying some. I mean, every now and again, something gets broke.

But you know what? I'd rather us break something and and let the kids be involved. Well, it's foster care, awareness month. I mean, we we pour into foster care big time, and that's another way you can get involved and let your kids see because the younger the kid, the more concrete it needs to be. They need to see stuff

and and and and be a part of it. You can invite them in. Like, we just did the duffel bag drive to help foster kids have this bags of supplies that they they often get pulled out and placed somewhere, they don't have anything, and we we give this to them. They're powerful stories, but that's a great thing to involve because we got over a 100 of them from our church. And it was really cool is when people bring them in, how often it was the kids were part of it. Like, even some of the kids, like, I get some of money to buy the brush?

Can I be you invite them to see it? You invite them to serve. You invite them to be a part of it and see it. Like, even now we have an example right outside. If you wanna invite your kids to we have the fat foster care wraparound because foster care is is like Arizona has the worst foster care crisis in the country.

But they have shown that if every Bible believing, Jesus loving church in Arizona just two families took part in foster care, the crisis would be gone. We have over a 100 families doing that in this church. Over a 100. And and if you are one of those families that's fostering, thank you.

You're you're pointing people to Jesus by loving them like Jesus. But you know what? It's hard to foster. Just ask someone who's done it. And a lot of us, like, I get it. It's hard. I can't do it. I'm not capable. That's okay. The wraparound ministry is a chance to how do we minister to those families

that are doing foster. That's what we need to do. And you can do that. You can walk out of this tent. You can bring your kids. You can say how can we and there's lots of ways to get involved. You can go out there and talk to them. I invite you to go do that. That's another op that's what we do around here. We provide opportunities to serve. But here here's the deal. If you want your kids to think about others and serve others,

you have to. If you teach them that church is just sitting in this row and singing to Jesus, and that's it. That's all they're gonna learn. And you hate it when they do that to you. When they don't care about the family, they don't care about but we need to show them that. Right? Well,

yeah. And it and it really the thing is is it does have to really be this this, the serving has to be who we are. And I learned this a few years ago when I was kind of going through this healing process, and I was meeting with somebody on a regular basis weekly, and she said, Carrie, you're gonna come across probably daily

situations where you're gonna feel unfairly treated, or you're gonna be hurt, or you're going to, something that's not fair is going to happen. And really, you've got to come to this place where you understand it's not about you.

And the only way that you can get to that place where you realize it's not about you, is to step outside of yourself and serve others. And ideally, as, right in that hurt, and maybe even the person that hurt you, serve them. And that was really powerful to me, that's

a life kind of motto or lesson, and really a heart issue was to get to a place that even in hurt, we're serving and we're thinking of others and and that is what I want for my kids.

But I gotta know, I gotta I gotta live that. It's like the understanding of what how God set up thinking of others and serving others. We get that convoluted in our cultures. Even as Christians, if I'm hurting, I have to stop serving. Where serving others is the pathway one of the paths to healing,

to breakthrough, to getting past. Not pull back, lean in. Not not get out, lean in. And and we need to show our kids the same thing. So when they're hurting and struggling, you you want them to see that the path to healing is to not stop caring about others.

It it it it's it's it's not to circle the wagons and retreat inward, but to lean into what God's called you to do. And and in the same way, the very the next mistake is really closely related. This is about serving,

but then the in this parable, we learn about sharing. And it goes the next mistake is in considering our material goodies, we forget the giver. We forget the giver. When we talk about money, resources, our finances, being generous.

We think of that oftentimes being generous is something I it's okay. Even as a Christian, God wants me to do it. I have to do it. It's more of like a gun pointed at my head. You better do it. And just like serving is a path to healing, giving is a shield to protect you from materialism. Giving

is that giving is a gift that God gave us, not a burden he asked us for. It's been proven over and over and over again in studies, secular studies, when they see people that get into debt and then get out of debt,

people that have been able to get out of debt and stay out of debt, the not the only principle that a 100% of these people have added to their repertoire is they started giving more. Because there's something in our heart and our human nature that when we give,

we stop getting so selfishly consumed with what we want to get.

That's why when we get this every Christmas, at first you hope you hope you'll be good, but then at time you pour into giving to others, you're like, wow. And then some of you have experienced it. You like watching the people you bought a gift open their gift more than opening your own gifts, don't you? We have this one moment here, but that's not supposed to be a Christmas. That should be our lifestyle.

And and and we need to teach our kids. You want your kids to not get massively in debt and have credit cards running around trying to buy happiness? Become a generous person.

Teach them to give. Sacrifice to give. But we learned that with our own kids, And we leaned into it because, you know, being in ministry, we knew it'd be hard. So we actually talked to our kids about the choices we made. Yeah. You know, and before we lived here, we lived in one of the wealthiest places in The United States, Orange County.

And on a pastor's income, which was not a lot. But I I we we didn't it was an interesting thing. We didn't have a lot to give our kids, which I was I was grateful for. But also I mean, fed them and clothed them and housed them and that sounds like, sorry kids. You

get to eat on Tuesday and you on Wednesday. That's not we're talking about the extras. The the the stuff that all their friends were getting. Yeah. Yeah. And that was a conversation that we had with them. It's like, hey, just so you understand, you're never gonna have what your friends have. We can't do that. But also,

we did tell them and shared with them that we have chosen to tithe and to give generously to our church and to others. And so that was sort of a buffer. We couldn't we also couldn't give them everything they wanted because we didn't have it because we were giving generously to

God. We taught our kids it wasn't like, oh, we're just poor, poor us. We don't have it. There's things we could have done that, but we want to honor God financially first. We made. Yeah.

I mean, let's be honest. Christian parents in this room, how many of you actually do that?

Or how many you buy your kid what you think they need or put them in that extra thing and then get mad if I say you should give. Like, well, then God should give me more. Mhmm. It's not the worst thing in the world for your kids to understand that we could buy this if we didn't give to God.

But I'm gonna teach you about what faith in God does. Cause he says, if you trust him first, he will give you all the things you need. Don't you want your kids to go through life understanding that if they trust God, they'll be okay?

We say that with our mouths, but then they watch us. Well, we can't give because we got this. Oh, we can't give because we're ready to give you You teach your kids they're the center of the universe. You inadvertently teach your kids that they deserve more than what God's asked for.

And then they grow up to be adults that do the same thing. And then we miss the blessing

that generosity is. And you know what? And it's so funny. I'm not opposed to giving our because we kinda in our hearts, we both want to not give them everything they want, and you also do wanna give them everything that they want. It's Don't like a weird torturous situation.

Because I did. I there there were times that I wanted. I I I'm not it wasn't a perfect situation.

And our kids get mad. Like, the oldest one the younger one's like, oh, the oldest one get to do this blah blah blah. They're all mad. But now my oldest one is complaining I can't believe Soraya already has a car. I didn't get a car to share with dad and tell them, I'm still driving that piece of trash car you had because you gave it to me, and and now she has a car. And it's like, yeah. I'm not opposed to give to more, but not at the cost of what God asked me to give first. We do better. I I gave my youngest one who complains about stuff. You have it better off than the oldest one because we can give generously, and I was able to help you out. Like I said, success is not the enemy of significance, but it is the distraction.

You give and trust God first. That's the way to set your heart and trust him so you don't worry. And don't you want your kids to have that ability to not worry about everything through life?

You gotta show it to them. You you you gotta lead the way. And then you know what? They end up getting on the flip side, the real blessing. See, if you're stuck on a success mentality, and then you hear about blessing through giving,

you automatically go to, oh, that means God will give me more money. I'll get the better house. I'll get this. You get because that's a success mentality. But that's not material blessings are just one version.

There is a much deeper blessing he's talking about. When he says you give and and and and and you you save up a treasure in heaven that's not destroyed through all eternity. You know what that means?

My wife started talking about this and it sounds cheesy, but we we have a front row seat to the sacrifice we chose to trust God with our money and come here and start this church and being in ministry, but still give no matter what. We're looking at the blessing. I'm looking at it. It's you guys. It's you guys.

I know you might not get it if you're on the other side of this, but this means so much more than what I could have done with that extra money each month.

So much more. I mean, if you give at this church, you're a part of what we do too. 434 people gave their lives to Jesus on Easter. 434 people.

That alone would be one of the larger churches in this area. I got the privilege of leading 10 people to Jesus last Saturday. And and and I'm telling you I wouldn't give that for any, but I'm telling you if you give here, God used your willingness to give

to to provide for a way to happen. But here here's the catch. Here's the thing. Most pastors would never say this, but I'm stupid enough to say it. God doesn't need your money to do this church. Doesn't need my money. The building we're building out here that I keep asking you to give to. This sounds contradictory,

but God doesn't need the money for that to happen. But then why does he ask us to give? Because he wants us to be a part of it. He wants to have us be a part of the blessing. Meaning, if you give here faithfully, every one of those people that said yes to Jesus, you're a part of. It's not just our blessing. Mhmm.

It's your blessing.

Don't you want your kids to share in that that legacy? So there's those those first two mistakes. The those first two to avoid.

But the third one is you can do these first two and still not have a rich relationship with God. It's gonna sound weird, but you can't. Because the third thing is in providing for ourselves, providing for our bodies, our self, our life, we often forget our soul.

We forget the richness of what does it mean to have a relationship with Jesus first and foremost. You could do these other things still not having a rich relationship with Jesus. These other things we talked about, serving and giving, they should be a result of the rich relationship

with Christ. They aren't we don't do them to result in a rich relationship with Christ. They should be the outcome. And and and and we we we need to show our kids that. We need to teach them that. We need to Yeah. This

is an interesting thing. As I was thinking about this and we were talking about this, I realized when I was really, we were in the thick of parenting, you know, we're on the tail end of this, our youngest is 16, but in the thick of this, feel like this, I would have

missed the point of this. It would have been lost on me because I,

my personality, kind of how we were raised, our philosophy of parenting, I never really pushed the worldly success expectations on my kids. I didn't really care where they went to school. I didn't care what their profession was. If they made a lot of That wasn't the most important thing. And so I

just didn't think that I was sending my kids down this success path. But God really revealed something to me that I actually was. I was sending them down a path, not worldly success, but it was a success path. I just wrapped it in spirituality. And while, yes, we do want our kids to be successful spiritually, I

had made a subtle change in this because I realized this as I was praying for my kids and and in a particularly difficult season of parenting, I found myself praying. The cry of my heart was, God change this child. Change him, make it.

We have two girls and one boy. Was trying to hide the mask. Good job. Every time. Every time. But my prayer was to change. God, you've gotta change him. You've got to make him stop doing these things. And yes, the things that he was doing, they were grieving this Holy Spirit. They did need to stop. But this wasn't really,

my prayer was for behavioral change. And God kind of showed me this. He said, you want his behavior to change, but what about his heart? And I realized that I was praying for behavior change because really this was the path I was going down. I was a kingdom for. I was trying to do all the right things in my life to

prove my worth to God, to earn his love, to kind of manipulate what I needed from God. And my, I can only take my kids down a path that I'm going. So God brought me to the passage, a passage in Ephesians, and it's Ephesians three, and it's verse 16 through 19. And I wanna read that.

And it starts like this, it says, I pray that from his glorious unlimited resources, he will empower you with inner strength through his spirit. Then Christ will make his home

in your heart as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ though it is too great to understand fully,

then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. See I had to realize that I was taking them down a behavior change path. But as I read this, I got to I started praying for a heart change. And I had to come to the Lord and I had to repent over my my kingdom for

heart and attitude and and path that I was going. And until that changed, I had to be willing to change in order to take my kids down that path. And that was that was a powerful moment. And to pray these words over your kid that they would know

the depth of God's love, how deep, how high, how wide, how long it is, and they would have the fullness and, power of his his love. That changed. That changed it all. So And so basically what we're saying here is in the end is is what are you really seeking for your kid? Is it right behavior or is it embracing their savior?

Because you can embrace right behavior. You can go after that and get it for a while and still not embrace a rich relationship with Jesus. But do you realize if you embrace the savior, you will get changed behavior? Which one are you really focusing? Because if you focus on just behavior,

that's when you do, that's when you end up being the the person that comes to church and go, hey, what's that children's ministry doing? I want my kid to act different. Or what's the high school ministry doing? Why is my kid still not acting? He's been going for three weeks. What's wrong with the youth pastor? You know, it's like you're more worried about about behavioral change. And the problem is you can force that. You can push it. You can fight for it. And it'd be almost like taking a rubber band and go, I need them to stretch out to this behavior. But the problem is that applied force and whatever eventually

you let go, it snaps back. But what happens if you have something in the middle? Does it that that you keep putting something bigger. You put something in that stretches it out from the end and just pushes it out. That's Jesus. That's the Holy Spirit.

That's a I go from his love. His love is the fuel, not my worry. I don't do these things to get his love. I embrace his love. I embrace a ritual ritual

spend time in his word. I pray. I, as a deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after thee. That's what the Bible says. It says, you learn to long after times with God and show your kids that. You've created this presence, this relationship with God, that that pushes the behavior.

But if I'm stuck on success, I only worry about behavior. Even as a Christian, I make it spiritual success instead of embracing significance.

And and that's what we're really talking about. And I and I get it. And it's hard, and it's it's it's rough, and it's difficult. And here's what makes it so tough. It's discipleship. Parenting is discipling.

If you're a Christian that's raised kids, you should be able to say, at least I've discipled one person in my life. Especially if you have like five kids. At least one, you know. You know, it's

it's it's it's but here's the thing. That kind of parenting, you can push for right behavior. You can teach success. You can push all that, but you can't disciple unless you are one. You have to be kingdom first yourself. And that's hard.

And it's difficult. I know how kids can be hard. They can be difficult. Because you know what? As we grow up, kids just think they know everything. Right? They think they have such a clear idea of how things work. And I know you're sitting here going, I get it. I understand what I see what you're saying, but and I understand how this can be hard to to to grasp. So we want to just wrap up with a little story here that that our oldest daughter who's about to give us a grandchild

Right. Was moving some stuff and found this that that we have kept. We found a story that she had dictated to me when she was four years old. She illustrated it too. She illustrated it as well. Let me take those Yeah, and so I wanted to read Isn't this story to that gonna help him understand the story?

Yeah, you took my words. It's cool. Sorry. Yeah. So I wanted to read this story, and we do have the illustration up here for you to clearly follow along. But it goes like this. She was four years old. I wrote it down exactly how she said it to me. And it's called Out of the Box by Micah Bush,

as told to mommy. So here we go. Once upon a time, Josh was at his grandma's and Josh wanted to see his cousin. Then he wanted to see his friend

and play outside. Then nobody was outside and he went inside. Then Josh's parents were at somebody's house and somebody was outside and it was Sano. Then they got outside, then they played, then nobody was outside, then they come to back. Then he headed to go to somebody's home. Then they come to home, then nobody was outside, not even Melissa was outside. Then later when he leave did, then me and Melissa were outside, then it was raining, then nobody was playing outside, then they got it home and nobody was home. The end.

Powerful words.

This was a passionate story that she told me that we needed to get on paper. Yeah. She went on paper. She drew the picture of it. It was so passionate. Because you know what's weird is that made sense in her head. But it's actually a bunch of gibberish,

ain't it? But what do I do as a parent? Do I tell her that's gibberish. This is terrible. Grow up and throw it away. No. We actually kept it. And because we love her, And we love where she was. But but but imagine loving her. But imagine if she didn't write that as four. What if she just dictated that to Carrie last week?

Mom, I got a story idea that I want my I got to get on paper so my grand, my son and your grandkid will understand. And and then then that's what she dictated and drew that picture. Would we be all, oh, how sweet? We would have saved it also for the doctor and the psychiatrist to see. Right?

Because we love our kids in those simple moments where they're just not grown yet. They don't understand. We love them anyways, but we don't want them to stay there. Right? You don't want to leave them there. You expect them to grow past that in their understanding. But here's what's weird.

Think of the the the difference between us and, like, parents that are in our we were in our mid twenties versus a four year old and that vast difference in understanding and how we that this gibberish and we know that. But think about this. How vast is the difference between you and I and God?

How much bigger is that chasm? How much more gibberish y

does the stories we want to tell God and illustrate to God? Like, this is what I need. This is what I want. This is what I need you to do. Hey, God. I need you to tell my brother to do this. God, I need this house. I need this job. I need this. If God, if you don't do this, don't know how I'm gonna make it. It's a bunch of gibberish

from God's point of view. But he loves us anyways. But don't mistake his love for you in that moment for saying you got it right. He loves you, but he wants to grow you. So some of this stuff sounds super simple. Like, so you just told me I need to love, serve, give, and really embrace you. Yes.

And that's more important than all the other gibberish we think we gotta get out there and tell. And you just gotta understand that we are kids to God. And here's my encouragement. Love your kids and their gibberish, but lead them to something more. And how you do that is letting God do that to you. For you and through you.

And you commit to this. You stay faithful to a rich relationship with Jesus,

and and and and you pray. And I I love my kids success, but I pray first and foremost that they would know that we love them, and Jesus loves them, and they would embrace the love of Jesus with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. And the other stuff will take care of itself.

And I encourage you to do the same thing because you will go through ups and downs and ins and outs because kids have free will. But if you stay faithful to that, just stay faithful to that and see where the story ends. Amen?

Father God, thank you, Lord. Thank you that you love us and you care for us and that you are the greatest parent ever. That you are the the the perfect parent. So, I just pray that this message, there was a lot of stuff in it, but the simple truth is we need to embrace you. It's not about success and right behaviors.

It's about significance. And significance is only found in you. So Lord, pray that everyone in this room would embrace that and have a kingdom first mentality and commitment in our hearts.

And then especially for the parents in this room then that that they would embrace that in order to show their children that same path. I pray for every parent that's struggling. I pray for everyone that's kinda wrestling with this, and I pray it would start in our hearts, and then move out into our lives,

and our kids could see it. And if they could see it, they can be it. Lord, I pray that anointing and that blessing on every one of us in this room, and I pray it in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.