Hidden Treasure | Part 8

yeah. It's good good to be back. Good to be back. You know, I I I was coming back, was preparing this message and I and I wanted to ask my wife for an example maybe. And I just went to her and said, hey, you know me pretty well and so could you think of a time when maybe I was

angry at someone and maybe had an attitude about what they did, but when in fact as I was getting frustrated, I was just as guilty and I didn't even finish the sentence and she was like, well how many illustrations do you want?

And I'm like, wait, what? I do that a lot? Well, what about, okay, give me a recent. Is there anything pretty recent? And she goes, yeah, when we two days ago when we drove back from California and I was like, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, are you talking about? When when were you driving back? When did I do that? She goes remember when you got really mad all the people that would cut you off when we're out on the 10 in between here in California because you get your cruise control set and all this and then people come, pay no attention, there's a truck on this side and they just pull right up and wait till the last second and cut right in front of you and make slow down. You know, don't

you hate that when they do that? And if you do that, you're a jerk. But no.

That's what I thought. And so I was getting something, I go, oh, they did it again. And then I got to where you see them doing it. I go, know what they're about to do. I know what they're about to do. And so she goes, you were getting so mad. They're like, they were selfish, they're jerks, they don't think about you, they only think about themselves. All these things I get so frustrated and I go, yeah, so when was I doing that? She goes, you were doing that the whole trip too. I go, I was not speeding up next to Texas. She goes, no, but our car has a sensor when someone's near you, whatever. And if you go to change lanes and someone's too close to you, it beeps.

And she goes, don't you remember the constant beeping when you were going in and out of traffic? Which means I was cutting over and I was so close. The car is saying you shouldn't have done that. And I'm like, wait. No. No. No. No. No. Was different. You see, I was getting cut off when we're going fast.

I was doing that when we were in heavy traffic near the cities and I was just trying to weave in and out of traffic. So I was I was my intention was selfish. I wasn't being a jerk. I wasn't trying to make them slow down. I wasn't trying to do all that. I was doing it for the right reasons. They were doing it for the wrong reasons.

And she's like, really? We were going fast. You did it when you're going slow. That's what you're gonna go with. And I was like, yes, I stand by my opinion. And and then I thought about it and she's right. It was like, there was no difference between what they were doing and I was doing.

The difference was I trusted my motives and my heart. And and and basically my attitude was when we do stuff like that, grace for me, justice for them.

Am I the only one that does that? If you're honest. I mean otherwise I can just go preach to myself out back and you guys can all go about your day. But yeah and I realized that that was true and and even though it's a little bit humorous thing, it does bring up a principle that can be true of us. The thing that we wanna talk about. The thing that Jesus address today in in the story we're gonna look at in his parable he teaches

is this idea of how we relate to each other. How do we treat each other and and and and how do we deal with issues that has to deal with this thing called judging.

When when when we judge. And the big idea we wanna unpackage and you'll see what I mean by the end. What it means is we need to be Jesus, not a judge in other people's lives.

We're called to be Jesus. Now what do you mean? Doesn't Jesus judge? Does he have to Yes. And we're gonna understand what it is by the end. But I wanna look at this passage and just kinda take it apart and answer. There's The whole message is gonna be we're gonna answer four questions to kinda unpackage what it means to be Jesus and not a judge in other people's lives. And we're gonna be in Matthew chapter seven.

And this is the part of the longest teaching Jesus does in in in that's recorded in the Bible called the Sermon on the Mount. And it's he's in part three now. First part was how do we worship? Second part was what do we do with our wealth and stuff like that? This third part is all about how do we deal with one another? How do we walk out life in relationship?

And here is what he says first. In in in chapter seven starting in verse one he says, do not judge others and you'll not be judged. So he starts off with this command, this this teaching. Do not judge others and you won't be judged. And so he tells us not to judge. Well before I can even unpackage

what does that look like, what do do? You gotta answer two questions. First, what isn't judging?

And then what is it, what does this verse actually mean? What is judging in the Bible? What is he talking about? And the reason I wanna say what it isn't is I believe we live in a culture right now that that really redefines terms. And so we live in a culture that thinks judging means you can't make an evaluation

or or judging is is evaluating people or using God given judgment to help challenge someone or help grow them. In our culture, I think people thinks that's what judging is. And that's not what this is talking about. That isn't judging.

Matter of fact, to to take good judgments, to evaluate using God given judgment and help someone, To help challenge and grow them. Basically to help them get to a good place in in their life is actually something we're told to do multiple times in scripture.

We're told to do that all over the place. But today we live in a scripture that says no, no. They think that's what judging. So if you try to help somebody

and and you know there's someone that my dad used to tell me, I've said they've taken the dot where they're at, put a dot where they're at in life and how they're living, draw a circle around it and called it a bull's eye. But you know that that bull's eye is actually not healthy. It's not scriptural. It's not that. And if you try to help them at all, what do they say?

Don't judge me. Like we've come to say a challenge to truth is equal to judging. That's not true. Because if that was true, then what Jesus just said contradicted what Jesus just said. Think about it. If judging was you can't challenge someone to a better place, you can't help them grow,

otherwise you're judging them, then Jesus saying don't judge was being a judger. So stop judging me, judgy judgerson. You know, that's it's a complex issue. And look look, we all over scripture we're told to help in many ways. Like if you look here in

Galatians six verse one, it says this. Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin. So this is a there is an objective truth. There is truth that there is a way that God says, hey, here's how to live. And someone's overcome by something. It says, you who are godly should just tell them encouraging things and stay out of their way.

It doesn't say that. It says, you who are godly should gently and humbly, that's the important part we'll see at the end of this message, help that person back onto the right path. So there is a right path. And he goes and be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.

Share each other's burdens and this way obey the law of Christ. So we're commanded to do that definition of judging any people, troubles lives. Matter of fact it says, if you think you're too important to help someone, you're only fooling yourself, you're not that important.

So it says a lot of times if we're not willing to try to help someone grow and get past a sticking point in life, then then we think we're more important. We think we're not really loving them at all.

See, in our culture we think love means to not challenge, to only be encouraging and accept people just the way they are. That's only partially right. We are supposed to accept people and love them right where they're at. But if you love, you don't leave them there.

And you know what? Even though we like to throw the term out there and on the internets and everything philosophically, people always say don't judge me when you say this. We know in our hearts that love defined as only saying loving words and encouraging things and no challenge, we know deep down in that that's not love.

You know if you parent that way, you did your kids a horrible disservice. Matter of fact, now they're doing you a horrible disservice because they still live in your basement. And you're like, we don't even have very many basements in Arizona. You

you know that if if you do that in a marriage, the marriage is never gonna work. You know that if you do that in a work real it doesn't work.

And so we're, we're called to actually evaluate and use God given judgment and use God's word to help, to challenge people, to grow. Well, that's what it isn't, then what is judging?

What is judging? Well, what it is is the word here in the Greek actually means to to condemn or to criticize. So judging by what he's saying is to not do, is to not have a harsh criticism and really not to judge motives. It's talking more about attitude than action. It's talking not more about the content of your message

but the content of your heart and how you approach people. It's it's it's like don't be someone that just brings truth but you don't really care about the other person. It's it's it's talking about that idea that that that are you really trying to win someone over?

Are you trying to win them back to a good path? Like are you approaching what they're doing that frustrates you to help get them to a better place and get everyone to a better place? Are you trying to win them over or are you trying to run them over?

That's what he's talking about. And that's what we tend to do. And that's what really causes a lot of problems. Think about it. This is a great talk for marriage, parenting, work relationships,

all of those. Because think about it, how many times do we actually have the right truth? Like when you're hurt, you're mad, you're a parent. Here's a perfect example. Being a parent. There's times when as a parent, I have personally and maybe you're like me, have had the right content of what I did with my I needed to bring some discipline. I need to redirect. I needed to get them on a right path. They're going the wrong way. They're irritating their mom and and and and and and typically one of my kids in particular was the roughest.

He'll stay unnamed. If you're not new here, I have two daughters and one son. So you know which one it is. And the reason is he's like me. So he causes a reaction in me at times. And and and so sometimes

I'm not there is nothing wrong with I was right with the truth I needed to convey. I was right that he needed to stop being this way. He needed to go this way. If he didn't go this way, it was gonna be bad for his life. It's the wrong path. That wasn't the problem.

The problem was the way in which I did it because the attitude that was in my heart when I did it. When I and and I know many of you probably do the same thing. Sometimes our parental call to action isn't when we really lovingly care for our kids and desperately wanna keep them on the right path. It's when you finally say these magic words.

That's enough.

You ever said that? You know what that means? It's not that's enough you're about to kill yourself, you're hurt. It means I am sick and tired of this. I am fed up and sometimes that's the only fuel that gets us to parent. This most of time you just try to ignore the kid. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours. Why don't you just do the right thing? Because when you do the right thing, my life is easy.

And it's almost as if I've said this to my wife and she gets mad every time. Is every time one of our kids stresses us out, she goes I can't believe this is so hard to be a parent. I was telling you, I go, what did you think parenting was? Did you think it was cute little kids? They're all super cute,

then they just become mature automatically and give you grandbabies? There's a whole lot in between and you signed up for this three times. Sometimes we just get bothered and and and we don't act. Our action is really because of our feeling. We have no concern with their healing. Where we're more acting out of our feeling

and so that's what the Bible is saying judging is. It's this condemnation in our spirit. It's the judging of the motives. It's it it it's really, it's about us. Condemnation is about us.

It's all about my rights have been violated, so I'm gonna argue about how I'm right. And I really don't give a rip if we ever get to right. All I do is be right, demand my rights, declare my rights, protect my rights, and I'm gonna use the truth to show you how you're wrong.

And you might be right. And here's the weird thing. Many times when you when you when you when we judge motives, so that's how as a kid, that's what we do with kids. But think about it in a marriage. You know how we bring out this attitude in a marriage?

Is when someone says you're starting to get frustrated with that spouse and what do you say? Even if you don't say it out loud, you say, I know why you said that. I know why you did that. And usually it relates back to something in the past. You've built this narrative.

And usually when we go on that road, starting to judge motives, what usually comes out after I know why you did that or why you said that? It's because what you always do or you never say. Almost the next thing is we make this declaration of truth that is stated in an absolute. You always

and you never. And I'm telling you, some of look at me clueless. You do this. You know you do this. Don't you? And and what's funny is what happens when you make an always or never declaration to your spouse? You know what they're thinking about? Wow. They're so right.

They get down on their knees and beg for your forgiveness. They they is that what happens? No. You know why? You know what they're really thinking about?

The time they didn't always do it. Or the time they didn't never do that. They're thinking about, well I remember the time I did treat you this way. I remember the time I didn't do that. I remember they They're they're they're they're back through their Rolodex in their brain and and giving all the examples. They're not even listening anymore. They're waiting for the rebuttal. It's now become a courtroom scene. It's not about what the truth really is. It's about who can argue the best truth and win the case.

And so they're just gonna come back. And so you're not you you even stop being hysterical. You get more historical. That's the dangerous part in an argument. It's not when you're hysterical, it's when you're historical. And you start going, well, you know what? I always, I never. What about ten minutes ago? Uh-oh.

That's not ever gonna get you anywhere. That's what Jesus is saying not to do. And here's what makes it hard for us as as Christians, as followers of Christ. The longer you follow Jesus, the easier it is to fall into this trap. The easier it is to not be humble and gentle as Galatians six one says.

Because we've learned how to not do a lot of the do nots. So then we start to just assume that we've got our act together. And we become holier than thou. When we should be, I have just as many holes as thou. That's what we should be thinking as we approach people. I got just as I'm I'm I'm holes

as thou. Just as many holes as thou in my life and my character as you. I'm not holier. I'm just as holy.

And so we we we tend to fall into this trap and it distorts the relationships. We can't get to healing. We just get focused and and and so that's really what happens. We end up with this this this condemning attitude.

So

I want to read, teach you the rest of the story and then answer the last couple questions, which is so what happens when I do do this? What happens when I judge? What what what I've told a little bit, I want to go a little bit further. And what should I do about it? So here we go. So he says, don't judge others. You'll be, you will not be judged.

Now that's important to remember right there because you think when he says that, that Jesus is threatening you.

If you judge people's motives, I'm going to judge you just as harsh. If you criticize, I'm gonna be critical of you. That's not what he's saying. He's saying that's what's gonna happen back at you. Because look what he says. He goes, the standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. He's talking about that's how other people are gonna treat you when you do this. So I'll go on. And then he uses an illustration of what the problem is and what you need to do about it. He goes, and why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye when you can't see past the log in your own eye? This is great. He he lands a big idea.

Don't be condemnation in critical spirit.

And then what did he do? He uses an illustration. This is where I learned how to teach. And a matter of fact, this illustration was actually a funny one. He's he's saying something that the crowd would have been laughing at. They would have thought it was hysterical because in Hebrew culture, especially back then, exaggeration

was a form of humor. So when he says, hey, could you imagine if some friend has a speck in their eye and you walk up and say, hey, let me get that speck out. And you have an entire log sticking out of your eye. That would have been funny. But then he says, and you try to get that out. What he's describing to them is like an Abbott and Costello routine. Because to them a log meant it was a piece of wood that would have been longer than a man's arm. So he said, could you imagine some guy with a little speck in their eye that doesn't notice it, and a guy his friend walks up with a log and goes, let me help you with that. And as he's trying to reach to get the speck,

he's hitting this guy over and over and over again in the face trying to get the spec out. So he's like, hey, let me help you. Bam. Bam. Bam. And this guy's getting the snot beat out of him. And that's what they're imagining. And they would have been laughing. And now you're thinking, maybe Bill's jokes aren't as bad.

Maybe I'm funnier than Jesus. Maybe he just got offended that I said that. When I see him next, he's gonna say, oh, I don't have a sense of humor. Created you, didn't I? But alright. Quit getting distracted here. So this was a a funny story that lands with a massive throat punch.

So they're like, that is a you're right. That would so ridiculous. And then the very next thing he says, verse five, what's the first word? Hypocrite. They're like, that's my that's you. Bam. That's what you do when you have this judgmental self righteous attitude. And

and he goes, so so what happens when I do judge? I become a hypocrite. A hypocrite is in in the Greek in the plays, that's a word for the masks.

Actors would often play multiple roles. So you could have a play with tons of characters, but you might only have four actors doing the whole thing. And what they did is they would just put a different mask on where they're different characters. That was the hypocrite. So it means you're pretending to be something you're not. If you act like you're so I need to fix you and you're not looking at your own problems, you're a hypocrite.

You're acting like you have it together and you really don't. You really don't. He says, first get rid of the log in your own eye. Then you'll see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye. See, we are supposed to help each other. He says you are supposed to help with the specks. But it's it's it's it's it's

it's it's you gotta inspect yourself before you log their problems. That's funny. Think about it. And then verse six. Verse six is weird. It really lands this idea of what I'm gonna say really what happens when I judge.

It seems like it doesn't connect at all. And it's another verse just like judging, don't judge me has been taking out of context scripture. This has been used way out of context so many times. It says don't waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don't throw your pearls to pigs. They'll trample the pearls and then turn and attack you.

So many times I've seen us as believers use that to defend when we end up in an argument with someone that's not a believer and we throw a Bible at them and then they attack us and get mad at us, we wear that as a badge of courage. Like see it was just pearls before pigs.

You know, they just didn't get it. But you realize there's two things wrong with that. First, Jesus said, don't do that. And then secondly, this verse is connected

to all the things he just said, which is actually talking to us as believers on how we interact with one another and how we treat people. So it's not talking about you who are doing it right,

be careful on who you share truth with. There's a little bit of that because he's saying in the end, there is a point where if you even if you do it right, there are some people out there that are just not gonna take what you have to say, be careful because you're gonna get attacked. But I think the stronger context is reinforcing what he said first. You're gonna be judged how you're judged. The way you mediate it out is what you're gonna get back. And so he's saying is if you are a harsh critical person that's always condemning and acting holier than thou when you go after and talk to people and you come across with this condemning

harsh critical spirit, guess what you're gonna get back from everybody around you? You're gonna get back exactly what you dish out. So if you're sitting here going, man, everyone in my life is so condemning of me. They're always attacking me. Right? It might be you're inviting it.

Because that's what he's saying. He says, if you try to deal with conflict with pearls, throwing them at a pig, he's describing these, the people you're dealing with as pigs. Not that they're really pigs. He's just saying it's an illustration.

Pearl means a biblical truth. It means a truth from the Bible. He's saying if you throw a pearl at a pig, does a pig care about a pearl? No. If you throw pearls at pigs, they're gonna snort and go and they're gonna attack you. And you're gonna get attacked.

He's saying, if I'm in an argument and all I do is throw Bible at you because I'm acting holy and self righteous, the other person isn't gonna get it. They're not gonna receive it. They're gonna snort at your argument and then they're gonna attack you back. That's what's gonna happen.

It's a much more practical thing. This is not a threat by God. If you do this, I'm gonna come and get you with the same thing. Why would God do that? God doesn't act like a two year old. Your two year olds when they fight. Your three year olds, four year olds, when they fight, well, he hit me first.

So you thought it was right to hit him back? Why would Jesus say, you're gonna do this bad thing? I'm gonna do the same bad thing right back to you. Jesus isn't a five year old. What he's saying is that's what you're gonna do to each other.

If you're critical and harsh, you're gonna get critical and harsh back, and nothing gets fixed. Nothing. Does that make sense? Don't throw the pearls before the pig. It's saying don't just throw truth because here's the thing. You might be right about the person's motives. You might have a fair grievance against them.

But that doesn't mean you can just harshly criticize and judge. We're not called to be the judge. We're called to be Jesus.

So what happens when I judge is I become a hypocrite. It'll come back onto me. And then it says, I will eventually, cause he says, how will you ever be to help someone if you get the log? I'll eventually become blind to my own needs, my own struggles, and I'll eventually need someone to come help me out. And

you've seen that before. Some of the people that really were critical and condemning of you and acted all holier now, then later on you find out that they had a collapse in their life that was so much bigger than anything they were hollering at you about.

Because that's usually what happens to us critical condemning people. We implode.

The log ends up in both eyes. And then we don't see where we're walking at all and we walk off a cliff. That's what he's talking about. So what should I do then? Well, he's already kind of said in here. What should I do? Be Jesus. Be Jesus, not a judge. What does it mean to be that Jesus brings judgment? Jesus challenges?

Jesus tries Yeah. But what he's saying is it's it's it's not so much the content of your message. It's about the content of your heart. And so what he's really saying is you need to deal with the log in your own eye first. You got to deal with the log in your own eye first because contemptation

is about me. Restoration is about us. It's about helping them. And so if I don't deal with that that that log in my eye first, I'm gonna be in trouble.

In other words, what what he's really saying to do is is I need to confess before I address. In any relationship, if there's an if someone makes me frustrated, instead of sitting there and getting more judgmental, because you know what happens when I get judgmental and just start assuming motives

and getting frustrated and not looking at the own log in my own eye, I start getting more holier than thou. And you know what happens? I feel more and more like life is unfair. They're being unfair. They're being unfair. And you know what you start doing? You start looking for evidence. You start looking at that person different. You stop loving them at all and especially

heinous in a marriage because instead of looking to get to a better place, you just start looking to get more evidence to show how you're more right. And next thing, they can't do anything right. And every little thing. I know that you, man, the way you slurp your soup, you're just trying to get on my nerves, aren't you? The way you you know, they take offense. I know why you snore. You snore because you hate me. Or you snore because you don't love me. I mean, I mean, yeah, you snore. It's like, you can't help snoring.

But now if you are really critical, you're actually mad at your spouse. Literally mad. Not frustrated because you know it's a problem. You get mad at them. You're like, oh my gosh. How do you know that? Because my wife has gotten mad at me. And I said,

I can't it's not like I in the night go, I'm gonna snore now just to tick her off.

Now I know it can get bad. I've snoring so bad sometimes I woke myself up. See what I'm saying is is it builds. So what am I supposed I'm supposed to be Jesus. What does that look like? What does that mean? It means confess before I address. I need to confess my own issues before I had to address

anything in someone else's life. That's what Galatians mean. Be humble and gentle. It means I Jesus always comes with love and truth. It's not one or the other.

It says speak the truth in love is what we're supposed to do. So we're supposed to be true in love. That means the truth should always be wrapped in love. That means it's not one or the other. It's about I'm gonna bring you truth because I love you.

And I'm gonna be able to bring this truth in love because I've already confessed and looked at my own life first. The practical application of that is, I've learned this with my son.

Every time we can start getting into a fight, I might be right, but it ends up into this just this fight because we're so much alike. And then I kind of get so angry and so forceful that I'm beating him up with truth. I'm not act at this point, I'm just mad and doing it all out of my anger, frustration, and I don't care what he does. I just want to be right and I just want to be done with this. But I've noticed that we go away, I think about it, and every time I've gone back to him

and I've thought about it and I look at my sister, we need to finish this fight. And he goes alright, let me let me warm up first. Alright dad, I'm ready. I go no, I don't wanna do that. I just wanna say I'm sorry.

I don't apologize for what I was trying to get him to see because that was truth. But I say, I think I hurt your heart. I was rough. I was mean. Because you know why? I had the right intent,

but my heart went bad because it was distracted, it was angry, it was frustrated. Sometimes it's not even for bad reasons. You get that you go to that place because you're actually fearful. Moms do that a lot. You go on a rampage with your kids, not because they're bothering you so much and you're so

mad at them. It's like you're so fearful you're trying to force them. And I said son, sometimes I think I try to force because I'm just fearful of I know where you're going isn't the right way and I didn't handle it right. So before I can even talk to you a second further, will you forgive me?

See some of us, especially some of us dads in this room, you have never said that to your kids. Do you know why? Because the content of what you were trying to get them to see was right. So why would I apologize for being right? You're not apologizing for the content.

You're apologizing for the attitude and the approach and the attitude in your heart. It's not the what, it was the how that's the problem. And the why, why you acted that way. And every time I've done that, every single time,

I don't even get it all the way out and he goes, dad, now I need to apologize to you. I knew what you were trying to do. And I was just being disrespect ful and I got mad. So I egged it on. Boom. We're right back in a good place.

And then we have a good conversation. How about you? What would happen if you confessed before you addressed? You should write that down. That'll fix most of your relationships right there. Confess before you address. How do I even begin to do that? How do you mean you need to look to God. Look at yourself.

And then by looking at God and looking at yourself, you can now look at the other person with love. And you will bring truth in the context of love which is I want a desire for healing. I'm not just trying to vent all my feelings.

So you live in a culture that says, just gotta get my feelings out. I gotta guys, if you are mad, unleashing your anger to vent it is the dumbest thing to do. Because you know what unleashing anger does? It makes you more mad. That's all it does. You need to process the motions correctly.

You need to deal with them. You don't need to vent them. Does that make sense? And see when we get distracted, we get we get judgmental, we get critical, and we just chew people up. We do this all the time.

I mean look at on the Internet man. Someone will make some statement and then they're always on the comment section. Some self righteous person will throw out a Bible verse that basically condemns them all to hell.

And they don't know each other. And then they get attacked by 900 people. And then they walk away thinking, well see, the world is just screwed up and going to hell. And I was the one person who's willing to stand for the truth. And you walk away going, I feel like the martyrs of old. I'm like the second Jesus. I just got crucified. Yeah. Because people, pigs attacked you when you threw pearls at their heads.

That's not the way to represent Jesus. That's not the way to be married. It's not the way to parent. It's not the way to relate in a church. It's not the way to relate. The world doesn't need judges. The world needs to see Jesus in us. And what that means is truth but with love. And you know Jesus actually

lived this out and showed exactly how this works in another story where a woman was caught in adultery and dragged before him.

And and what happened in that situation?

The people that dragged her did not really love her. They were condemning her. If they really loved, they would have done it differently and they would have at least brought the man who was involved as well. But they were just trying to set Jesus up, so they wanted to condemn Jesus. So they brought him and there was a trick question. Should we stone her? The law says we should. The word of God says we should deal with this sin from the Old Testament, which they were dealing with incorrectly anyways. But they said, and and what do you say? Because they thought if he says go ahead and stoner, he's gonna lose the crowd. He's like, I thought he was about love and forgiveness. Why would he do such a horrible thing? But if he says no, don't, then they could say you don't care about the word of God. They were trying to trick him. So you know what he does?

He starts writing on the ground. It's funny. The Bible doesn't tell us what he was writing or why. There's a lot of conjecture.

My favorite, my personal favorite belief on what he was writing, it says as he started to write, he said one thing before he started to do it. He says, all right, you can stone her. But he who is without sin gets to throw the first stone. So he who doesn't have a log in their eye can throw the first stone.

And then he started to write. And then everyone started leaving from oldest to youngest. So that means that there was some kind of organizational pattern. I personally, conjecture only, think he started writing their names from oldest to youngest. Phil. You did. And before he got what he did out,

Phil's like, I got something on the InstaPot. Gotta go. You know, and then he's like, Frank, you, you know, you're talking about adultery. What about the other night when uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. And and they just cleared out.

And then he looks at the woman and he says, is there anyone here left to condemn you? And she says, no sir. No sir. And he goes, well then I don't condemn you either. You know what's funny though is? There was someone left that can condemn her.

Even based on his one rule, one stipulation. He was without sin. He cast the first stone. Who was still standing there that was without sin? Jesus. He had every right to be the judge and the jury and the executioner. But what did he do? Showed her grace. Showed her love.

He met her where she's at and loved her just the way she was. And he forgave her. But here's the point. He wanted her to feel the forgiveness so she can then follow him in faith. You don't try to follow God so he'll love you and forgive you. That's self righteousness.

You follow God because he already met you and loved you where you're at.

But that doesn't mean what the world thinks it means. Where I do whatever I want and if you challenge me scripturally to say hey I I don't think this is the right way to live, you can't then say, well Jesus loves me just the way I am. He does. But he won't leave you there because most people think that story ends right there. There's still another statement Jesus says.

After he says I don't condemn you, what does he say? Go and sin no more so that something worse doesn't befall you. That sounds like he's threatening her. Right? Jesus has a one strike and you're out policy. I got you once. But if you do this again, Jesus isn't happy.

That's not what he's saying. It's another thing about your choices are gonna lead your life to a very dark place. You're not gonna find what you think you're gonna find at the end of this road. So now that you know I love you where you're at, and I forgave you, and I saved

Instead of condemning you, I showed you grace and love. Now I've earned the right to say, listen, if you keep going down this path,

it's gonna lead you to nowhere. The Bible says it multiple times in Proverbs. There's a way that seems right to man, but at the end it leads to death.

A lot of times when we try to encourage one another with the truth, even through love, we say don't judge me because we put a dot on this on the on where we're at in our life, put a circle around it, and called that a bull's eye.

And that is not love. Jesus will meet you where he at and love you, but he won't leave you there. That's what we need to be. We need to be Jesus. Which means we need to start with grace, start with love, always love people where they're at, and do that in our life unlike Jesus, we need to own up to our own sin first.

We need to confess. Then we can address in gentleness and humility. We can make the relationship right and say, hey, instead of you need to be holy because I'm already holy, you say, hey, I'm just another guy on the road traveling.

And maybe I'm not in this hole that you are, but I can help you out of this one and let's walk together and follow Jesus. That's what we need to be in the world. The world does not need to see judges. I mean, that's one of the problems in our culture. I mean, whole culture right now, look at the political landscape.

No one wants to win anyone over. We just wanna run each other over. And that's what we do in our relationships. We don't try to win anyone over. We try to run them over.

I would hope that we would be a church that if you're new here, you could come here and I'm gonna tell you, Jesus loves you right where we're at no matter how messed up your life is. I don't care your political affiliation. I don't care your your sexual identity.

But you know what? You're gonna be loved first. But we are after the love gonna say, hey, can I challenge you that your identity shouldn't be found in your sexuality? The Bible says your identity needs to be found in Jesus.

But it comes from a loving place. If we ever take the attitude that says if you're gonna come here, you better clean up your act. And we say that, but we always have certain sins that are a ick factor to us. And we just kind of give off this vibe that says, yeah, you can come here no matter what except for that.

If you come here, you better deal with that before you come here. That's judging. But loving is not just come here, stay exactly like you are. I won't challenge you with any truth and and you could be fine the way you are and Jesus love you. That's not love. Because

what you need to desperately know, some of the stuff you're gonna get challenged in your life from God's word is because God says, I know why you wanna chase after this, but trust me I made you. And at the end of that road is death. It's not what you think you're gonna find. That's what it means to be Jesus. It means you

confess before you dress. And how you do it is you look to God. God's word, you look at yourself. And then you look. Then you can look at others. Then you can help. Then you can bring truth, but wrapped in love. Any other way, you don't really care. You just want to be right. And you want to deban your rights.

And you want to run them over with your truth. You don't want to win anyone over. And you know, struggled with this sermon to bring it because in this series we laid out, we had 10 different parables. We only had nine picked.

And I had an open spot that I said I'll come up with one later on. That was supposed to be what I preached two weeks ago. I then got close to leaving. I go, you know, I'm wrestling with what to preach. Let's switch places. So what was this week I did two weeks ago.

And I go, give me two more weeks to think about it. And then as of this Wednesday, was still wrestling with what what I was gonna do. Here's the funny thing is, this is the one that came to my heart and mind right from the beginning. And for some reason I kept trying to make a reason to not preach it.

And I'm like, what am I struggling with? Why am I doing this? So I looked to God. I got alone and I did what King David did. Examine my heart, God. What's going on? Why am I wrestling with this so much? What am I afraid of? What's the deal? And he revealed. He goes, Bill,

the reason you wanna avoid this is if you're honest, this is the one trap you have to really watch out for as a pastor. You see I'm not just a, the owner of HairClub for men, I'm a member too.

This is the issue I struggle with as a believer. And the longer I've been a pastor, the easier it is to struggle with it.

It's so easy to get self righteous. And it's so easy when you're trying to preach to people. And you know the answer. And you've seen people find the freedom including yourself. And then you see week after week when you challenge people and they just sit there and stare at you and they're not gonna do it. And I out of fear and out of just my the intent in my heart is always the right. I just want this for you. But you just get so frustrated sometimes and so discouraged that your your your attitude changes in your heart.

I really learned this about myself, in 2008. It was the first time it really hit me. We were supposed to build this building back in 2008, 2009, be done almost by 2,000. We didn't start building it until years later. And the reason was the whole, you know, the the housing market fell apart.

And next thing you know, there's the whole collapse. We already had a loan lined up but then the lender said we don't we've frozen all loans. You qualify but you you've frozen. Then we went to 26 different lenders, frozen. Was like, God, what is going on? Then it started to get worse. People started losing their houses and then a lot of core families had good jobs, especially in the construction industry. We had lots of people that were like project managed up. They're like, I'm moving to Texas. I'm moving to Texas. Somehow it wasn't happening in Texas. So everybody is going to Texas. And and our core started to shrink down.

And then we started to hit a financial pinch as a church.

And it was one of those moments I was gonna need to challenge our church to give. I had no problem with the content of my message. I needed to challenge. Because you know, in any church you have a lot of people that are believers that come to church all the time, but for whatever reason they refuse.

They don't want to support the church financially. And normally we can survive. People that do that if if your core people are very faithful.

Well now I'd lost so many core people. It was an opportunity to say, hey, some of you can step up now. I believe God wants you to step out in faith and that was all the things that needed to be said. But the problem was as I did that, I had the only time I've ever had to lay people off. And I had to lay off a

guy that had been in my youth group and a guy that I've been his discipleship group leader when he was in high school. And that hurt. And so now I'm trying to challenge us with the truth, but my heart is now hurting.

And what I got up and preached, I can honestly tell you the content was truly biblical and did needed to be said. That wasn't the problem. It wasn't the content of the message that was the problem, it was the content of my heart. I was preaching angry because I was preaching fearful. I was preaching with hurt. And

I guess people sensed it. The first people that sensed it was men in our church that had been verbally abused by their fathers. They went nuts, about six of them. And they've been in the church for a long time. I didn't even know they had been abused. But my first response was I'm not responsible for your journey,

But there was a weird sign that like something in the way I was doing it was wasn't right. But fortunately I had people around me that are still around me that chose to be Jesus to me instead of acting like a judge over me. And they said, could it be that your your heart is angry because of what you're having to do?

And and you're not preaching to people with a love to say,

desperately want what God wants for us. Instead you're just sick and tired and you're mad. You're like that dad that's the one who said, I've had enough. You kids need to shape up. You need to act right and start giving you bunch of selfish jerks. Is that's what's in my heart.

And it was coming out sideways. It affected me in meetings. And when those people challenged me, they loved me, they came with love, and they said, are you angry in your heart? You know my first reaction is? I'm angry in my heart right now

at you for telling me that, but then I had to get alone and do what David did. Search my heart, oh God, and see if there's any way in me. That's going the wrong direction basically. So I did. And I had to own it. And I had to apologize. I had to confess before I can address what we needed to do.

And since that day I've always prayed that God would give me his pleasure when I do what he does called to preach. I always pray that I rightfully handle his word and I do not misteach it. But ever since I realized that, the other thing I pray every time before I walk out here is God, may I, my heart for your people,

be in the same place as your heart is for your people. Because I do not want to ever fall into that again. And you know what? Was so afraid.

I think the result of my anger came from us. Was afraid like, God you called me to do this. Really my fear of is God letting me down. You called me to do this. Now we're not getting the building out. Now here we are. Six, seven, eight, ten, eleven years later from that point.

We're sitting in this building. It's too small. And look what we're doing right over here now with God's grace. What? Yeah. That's awesome, isn't it?

What is never gonna be built in your life if you stay in that judgment zone? Do you have an angry heart? Do you have a fearful heart right now? Do you have a bitter heart? What is it? Jesus is gonna meet you right where you're at and he loves you. No doubt about it. And if you can embrace that, he'll say take my hand

and go somewhere else with me. And help, let me build something in your life that's more than you could ever possibly imagine. Father God, I thank you Lord. I thank you for that you do love us that way. I thank you that you do care about us that way.

Lord my prayer is simple. I pray for myself and everyone in this room that we could simply confess before you our fears, struggles, our sins, our challenges. So we can be humble and gentle and prepared to go address the struggles of others because that's what you've called us to do.

Help that be an attitude we bring into every relationship we have So we can have restoration and healing instead of condemnation based on our hurt feelings. I pray that you would give us the the spirit and the willingness to agree with you on that. And then please open those doors. Help us to see you Jesus

so then we can be Jesus to others, not a judge. I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.