War Buddies | Week 1

When we moved across the berm with Sergeant Major and I, the Iraqis were shelling us. The sign of the go off to to the to war and then you just hear the explosions behind you and and and just gendered just waiting for somebody to come. Hearing bullets hit off trucks, hearing bullets whizz by, and my buddy in the truck next to me since I was driving was just started singing as he was locking and loaded as his weapon started singing, why can't we be friends? You come out of that old thing

like you came out of the womb together. You are brothers.

What is it about being on a battlefield together that creates a bond that could last a lifetime and maybe be stronger than any other friendship bond that someone had. It's interesting. We asked these guys the question. All four of those guys are rock pointers that have been in combat,

and and and they came in and they shared their stories. And and and if you're interested each week, you'll hear a little bit more of each individual stories the weeks to come, and we're gonna post a little bit more of their interview in honor of them that we asked them to kinda tell little bit of their story. But what we really were asking them when we brought them in was that question was, did you notice that being in combat

created a bond of friendship you never would have expected? With people that probably at times of peace, they're like, our backgrounds are diff there is no way we would have been friends if it wasn't for being under fire. What is it about friendships forged under fire that can bring something out of us?

Is there something deeper? And that's what we wanna start talking about for the next few weeks and asking that question. Like I show that, it's not to glorify war or honor wars. It's more of there is there something in there that happens

that maybe is biblical or maybe is true? And I I I knew to ask these guys this question because every veteran of combat I've talked to about says, yes. There's something about you can you can be in in in in combat together and then not see a guy for twenty years, and the bond is still there.

And I know this really well from hearing my own dad's stories. If you're new around here and don't know, my dad was a veteran of World War two, Korea, and Vietnam. And so he saw a lot of combat, and he talked about some of these friendships that form. And it was really interesting

that a number of years ago, I was actually on a website just researching some of the places he were and where he went during the Korean War, because I wasn't familiar with that. And I found a website that was dedicated to to veterans of the Korean War, and they they even had these little pages. They're like almost like social media pages directed by unit where guys that served there could go on, hey, is John still out there? Do you remember that time when we had this happen? And and guys would interact and talk about stuff. And as I was looking down that, I all of a sudden saw my dad's name on one of these posts. This guy posted, hey, are any of my war buddies out there?

My friends, I'm looking for you. And he listed three names, sergeant Bill Bush and two other names. And I knew all three names. Well, of course, knew my dad's name because my name. And and and then I saw the other guy I go, I know who these guys are.

And my dad wasn't sentimental. He didn't get a lot of pictures. He didn't have a lot of, you know, three wars. You know, all those years, I have four pictures of him wearing a uniform. And and

three of them were were were taken in Korea, and turned out it was by the guy that posted this thing. And and I grabbed this picture that I had on my desk. He said, Carrie, you're not gonna believe this. And I got the picture here.

And I said, obviously, that's my dad with the airless bill. I don't know why my dad wrote that. Was he getting dementia and won't remember who he was? Not sure. But anyways, there there's him. And then the two other names of the guys are the two guys in the middle.

And so then I assume, I go, I know these are the three names. I think that's the guy that posted this. And so I actually got ahold of the administrator, and he gave me his phone number, and I called this guy. And I talked to him. He's like, my at the time, he was almost 80 years old. And and we talked for a couple hours.

And it was crazy, and I was right. He this this was that was him. And I said, I've never seen you other than this picture. He goes, because I was the only one with a camera. So any picture you have that your dad that that from this I took it. I was the only this was the only one I finally got someone else to take a picture of us. And and and so we started talking and I asked about my dad. I started asking questions about him, and man, he went back and started recounting stories, and it wasn't like a remnant. It was like it was like this just happened ten minutes ago.

And and I and I asked him about stuff, what it was like, and and and it was crazy. I go, know, my dad used to tell me some crazy stories and laugh about it, and to quite honest, I wanted him to confirm because I didn't believe it, to be honest with you. And he goes, oh, yeah. That really happened. And he goes, your dad he starts turning the he goes, man, he he saved my life several times.

He was a great leader. And I go, what do you mean? He goes, well, there's this one time we were up on the hill, they were stationed on a you know, where they were at near the front lines. They're kind of the radar, so they're kind of up on a hill.

And then there's men down below. And he goes, your dad's playing catch with this this guy. He brought a glove, and he goes, your dad was a great baseball player. You know, he talked about that for a few minutes. He said he had cannon for an arm. And so they're throwing, and and and

all of a sudden, a bed check Charlie came. And, unfortunately, I understood what that was. My dad's like, what the the the enemy would do at the time is they would get an old World War one plane, and they'd fly in at sunset coming in from the sun. So you don't see them. They'd fly like 75

feet above the ground, and they would load up this oil with any kind of explosive thing they can find or put together, and just fly along the front lines where they were and just drop stuff.

And just to to try to kill guys, but just to freak you out and and then leave. They they called it the bed check as right as the sun was going down. And he goes, and we're sitting all of sudden, one comes in, and your dad had the intelligence as he's throwing this bottle, looked down, and he sees this guy down below jumps on the anti aircraft machine gun,

starts shooting.

And he watched and he goes, hey. It's like 75 feet off the ground over there, but as this guy comes across us, he's gonna be like 10 feet above us. And this guy's just shooting and not paying attention. So instead of shooting up at the air, it's gonna be shooting right through them at this plane when he gets there, and he had the wherewithal to go, holy whatever. And he ran, and he goes, he tackled me and knocked me into a ditch right as 50 caliber slugs just tore up our tent, started tearing it off, just barely missed us.

And he's laughing.

He starts laughing. He goes, that's so funny. And I go, what happened next? Because that's the part I don't believe. My dad told me that. And he goes, well, he jumped up after they stopped firing, grabbed that baseball, and the guy's like 75 yards away. He took a hop step, threw a line drive, hit the guy in the face,

and knocked him right off the machine gun, yelled some things I'm not gonna say to his son, and then said, and you're lucky I have a better aim than you. And and and we all laughed. Everyone thought it was hysterical. And and now he's laughing. And I'm like, okay, that really did happen.

But here's what's crazy. That is funny. But some of the funniest stories you tell, think about being there at the time. They almost got killed by friendly fire if they didn't get blown up by this guy in a World War one plane dropping grenades at them. That's terrifying. Yet he's laughing.

He goes, man, your dad's good friend. Good friend. He almost said, good times. I go, that is not good times.

And then I asked a serious question. I go, was my my dad didn't drink anymore, did he? Because I knew he had messed up his baseball career. World War two, he came out, he drank too much. And he goes, no. He didn't drink, except for this one time. He went on a bender.

And a matter of fact, I finally put two and two together because my dad was sergeant. But if you know anything about military, you're looking at this picture and you go, wait, your dad only has two stripes. He doesn't have the third one. He's not a sergeant.

Anybody notice that when I said sergeant? Anybody? Yeah. See? I knew. This is why I have to explain this. You guys notice those things. And he goes, yeah. He went on a bender and lost a stripe. He was striking a superior officer. As my dad would say, he wasn't superior. He was just in a higher rank.

But but it was because he was in a bad place. And I go, what happened? He goes, well, he he got a Dear John letter from his wife.

I didn't know my dad had married his high school sweetheart after World War two. I thought it was weird. He married my mom when he was like 39 years old, and I thought, wow. He was a young athletic guy, came back. All those guys came back for World War two, had kids. I should be in my sixties, but that didn't happen.

I didn't know that. He knew this about my dad. And I go, what up? Well, he got this letter because he married her, then he didn't think he was gonna go off to war again. Got shipped off to war. And he gets this letter that she says, I can't handle being married to a guy in combat. I just can't do it. I won't be here when you're back.

And here was the kicker. They were in so much combat and the mail took so long. The letter was almost a year old. So he found out his wife had left him over a year ago. And he says, yeah. He he went on a he kinda lost it.

But he had us. He pulled it back together and became our sergeant again and continued to save our lives. And I'm like, that is crazy. So think about it.

This guy's looking for these friends from long ago and describing this time that these were my brothers and all that. And if you describe the experience, you got friendly fire, bombs, attacking, combat, men dying. His one friend, wife left him. He's stuck there for three years. All of that happening.

How is that good times? How does that develop a bond? Because I even said at one point, said, man, you know so many stories. When was the last time you saw my dad? He goes, well, we shipped out of Korea and went separate ways in October 1953, So the last time I saw him was October 1953.

I go, so you haven't talked to him in like almost sixty years. He goes, yeah. I go, why do you reach why the website? He goes, well, had this thing. I saw it, and I realized we'd kinda lost track. We didn't have the ability back then the cell phones and all that, and and he said, to be quite honest,

I realized I've never had friends like that again. So here's an older guy near the end that dawned on him. Something happened in a bond that I never duplicated the rest of my life and there was almost a melancholy to that.

And that's what we want to talk about. What about that friendship? Is there a biblical concept in there that maybe we could learn and find war buddies instead of accidentally having them, not knowing what just happened, and never being able to experience it again.

Because the reality is is we kind of sub that we we we we divide our friends up into a couple buckets. We have acquaintances, and then we have friends.

And that's the two buckets. Now acquaintances are people I just know something about you. I barely they're the person you know enough about, and you've talked to them enough times that maybe you should know their name, but you don't remember it. So you say something, hey, buddy. How's it going, Amigo?

And I shouldn't told you my secret because when I say that to you out there, you're gonna be highly offended. I was in your wedding. I'm your daughter. You know stuff like that. But then there's But then everybody else gets lumped into some category of friend, and that friend category is huge.

But there's another category that we're gonna talk about that I call a war buddy. For the lack of attorney, he says, hey, they're my old war buddies. They're my my friend. That that that I believe what happens in war. It's not the war. I'm not glorifying fighting. My dad hated it.

But is there something that happens when you're in combat, when bullets start flying? And there's something about being on mission.

Is there something in there that forces you to go to a deeper level that maybe you didn't realize, but is a very scriptural idea of what friendship should be, and there is. Theme verse of this whole series,

Proverbs seventeen seventeen. Here's what it says. A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Born for adversity. You realize that's what happens on the battlefield. Is is God created friendship. The reason we're supposed to have friendship is is when the bullets are flying. Friendships,

true friendships, biblical friendships, the type of friendship God wants us to have. And when you think friends, you're just thinking the the the the your buddies, the gals, whatever. Marriage should be a friendship. Parenting should have the right type of friendship.

All these things should happen. And and then to realize, God wants us to have these relationships called friendships, where we love at all times, but you realize that second line is the kicker. They are born for adversity. Friendship is really developed when the battles begin, when the bullets are flying.

And and here's the problem. We live in a culture where we think of friendship as peacetime friendship all the time. And the second battles start, the second bullets fly, we run away. We run away. We go AWOL. What

if we learned what war buddies really were? We could get to this level of friendship. What would that do in our marriages?

What would that do as parents? What would that do as coworkers? What would that do as friendships? If we learn to develop the friendships God wanted, and then I'll just tell you right now. The the friendship God wanted is is based on what I think works for a soldier is this.

My dad always said what makes that bond is not our backgrounds, not where we came from, but we had two things. We had a bigger mission, and we only had each other to watch out for. Watching out for each other while going after the and sometimes when the mission doesn't make any sense, you still still had each other.

And you realize that's what God wants us to do. We have a bigger mission. This kingdom of God. He wants us to be on mission with him. He wants us to go after his purposes, and then we're supposed to be war buddies. We gotta look out for each other as we go on mission. But if you don't understand you're on mission, if you don't understand you're in a war, and if you don't understand that you need friends, we're never gonna get

And so we turn friendship into, I want people that have the exact same interest. That's not a bad thing. Similar interests can help start a friendship. But similar interests is not the goal.

It's not I wanna have. Similar interests friends where there's no conflict. That's what we think we need to have. We're like, I need to find friends that that think this way, they like this political stance, they they hate the Seahawks, they think cats are evil, you know, those that's where it go. But you know what?

The Sherwoods are my friends, and we disagree greatly on one of those comments I just said. It's not about that. It's about being born for adversity. See what happens in combat, think forces us into sometimes the biblical definition of friendship. So we're gonna be unpacking that and looking at that.

And and and and and this week's concept is this. Here's the big idea that we're gonna talk about. First principle of how to have a war buddy is this. You gotta have friends who got your back. Or in military terms, they have your six.

There you go. All you military guys. You they have to have your back. Now what does that look like? How we're gonna unpackage these principles is we're gonna be looking at the life of one guy, and we're gonna look at these moments in his life, and he was a warrior, he was a king, he was a poet, he was a musician, all around cool guy. His name was David.

And if you're not familiar, you're newer to church, he was Israel's second king, and he is considered the best, the greatest king that Israel had.

But here's what's interesting about him. Despite all of his greatness, he also was an adulterer who tried to cover up his adultery and then murdered that guy, murdered a friend. And so he had some really dark moments too.

The wheels came off the bus, but yet he still remembered as a great king. What was it that made him get through even though he was a broken person? What really got is we tear his life apart. You're gonna see that at key moments, he had war buddies.

He had real friends in his life, and actually, we'll look at how he was a friend and changed other people's lives. But at key moments, he had friends that changed the direction of his life. They were willing to be a war buddy, not just an acquaintance,

not just an ally. A lot of our friends, we look for allies. As long as they agree with me, it's great. The second we disagree, I'm out of here.

But do we have these war buddies? We're gonna look at this guy, David. We're gonna take that apart, and I'm gonna tell you guys, I'm just gonna call my shot here. We're calling us war buddies. I'm picking a warrior guy to look at because I want you men to pay attention.

Men here, friendship series. If we just called this friendship, most of you guys would have already checked out because you don't think you do friendship. But when you understand what real friends are, men, I think we are excellent and very capable of leading the way in what friendship is.

The problem is we've bought into the culture's definition of friendship. And I'll be honest, most of the guys, we don't like culture's with the idea of friendship. But I think when you understand real friendship, you're like, that's hard but I think I can do that. And it'll change the world.

So we're gonna start with David. We're gonna look at his life. And the first thing we're gonna look at is what the scripture says was probably his best friend.

He was a man named Jonathan. Here's the thing about Jonathan. This is why it's not a cultural friendship. This guy Jonathan, for all intents and purposes, should have never been David's friend. They should not have been friends. Because like I said, David was the second king.

The guy Saul, the first king of Israel, was Jonathan's dad. So Jonathan was the prince, the heir to the throne, and he becomes best friends with the guy that's gonna replace him. The guy that God says is gonna replace him. The guy that's gonna take his inheritance,

and they become best friends. And Jonathan is truly a war buddy to David and saves his life and helps him in many ways. And and I just want to talk about it. But as we set this up, here's David. If you're not familiar, he was the first, second king. How he comes onto the the field is Saul was king. Started off good leader, brave man, trusted God,

quickly stopped trusting God, went the wrong way, started fighting God. And and so this prophet Samuel came and said, God says, your family line is not gonna continue the kingdom. You did not get to inherit. It's it's gonna go to a new line, to this guy David

is who it's gonna go to. And how David got picked was here's a guy that got picked to be king when he was a teenager. He was young. He had six other brothers. He was the seventh one. And and and and and he's sitting there and or is he number eight? I think he's eight. I've got it wrong three other times.

But but so he's the youngest. Lots of kids. Some of you have so many kids, you understand how you'd miss out. You forget one every now and again. But but Jesse

is a he's his dad. And the prophet Samuel comes, and God says, go to his house. You're gonna anoint one of his sons the new king. And you'll I'll let you know who it is when you see him. And so he goes, and he goes, I wanna see your your son. So he parades all the other sons,

and and not David. David's the kid. He left him out in the fields. So even his own dad thought, well, if one of them is gonna be king, it's gonna be one of them, not him.

And so he goes through the line, looks at me, and goes, man, none of them are right. Maybe I was wrong. And he's wait. Do you have any more sons? He goes, well, there's the boy. He's out in the fields. Go get them. He walks in. Cha ching. You're the new you're gonna be the new king. Anoints him with oil, and now he's gonna be the king. Then nothing happens.

You fast forward to this moment where maybe if you've never heard of David, you'll have heard of this He's actually bringing food to his brothers who are fighting in King Saul's army. There's a giant named Goliath that's taunting him all the time. Nobody will fight him. David's like, I'll go fight him. Bam. Stone to the forehead, kills him, rallies the army, and now he's becoming famous.

So he starts serving in the army. He starts serving under king Saul and his court, and and their tension begins to build. Because Saul gets more and more against what God fights God, wants to hold on to what's his, and David starts to rise and rise and rise.

And think about it. A matter of fact, they they would sing songs after these battles. The women would come out in the streets and sing a song. Here's the song they'd sing. Saul has slain his thousands. David his tens of thousands. Now you're the king. You just had this great victory.

You ride through the street. The women flock to the streets and basically sing a song. David's 10 times better than you. That's what the song is saying. David is 10 times better than Saul. Now don't you think that would create frustration in a man that's gonna fight what God's saying? That guy's son is Jonathan.

But they meet, they become friends, they're warriors together, they make a vow. They actually covenant to be friends at this level,

and they go on to be great friends. And then we're gonna look now at a couple different stories that show what kind of a war buddy was Jonathan. How did he have David's back no matter what? So the first story we're gonna pick up on is is in, first Samuel chapter 20.

And what's happening here is David starts to get the idea the tension builds and he starts to realize Saul wants him dead. Matter of fact, he actually throws a spear at David at one point. Makes it pretty obvious. But Jonathan hasn't seen any of this. So they're talking and he goes to John, the first part of chapter 20, I'll just summarize it, you go read it. He goes and says, hey, your dad wants to kill me. And John is like, no way. My dad doesn't want to he he would tell me. He tells me everything because he knows he wants me to be the next king, you know. And it's like, he would tell me and he goes, no. No. No. No. Jonathan, he knows that we're good friends.

He's not gonna tell you that. So he goes, let's do a test. Your father's throwing this big feast. I'm supposed to be at it, and I'm pretty sure he's doing his setup to try to kill me. And he goes, so here's the deal. Give me permission.

I'm not gonna be there. When your dad finally asks where I'm at, tell him this, and then see how he reacts. If he loses his temper, you'll know that he wants to kill me. So they say, okay. That's the plan. So the party happens. Saul finally goes, hey, where's David? His son tells him and here's what happens. Verse 30, it says, Saul boiled with rage at Jonathan.

You stupid son of a whore. Why is it always mom's fault? You realize this is this is you and your mother. Because look what he does. He he goes, do you think I don't know that you want him to be king in your place? Shaming yourself and your mother?

That's like an event. It's like it's it's mom's fault. It's like, man, you got her side of the family in you. That's what it is. No. But he goes, as long but look what he says to him. As long as that son of Jesse, David, is alive, you'll never be king. He is right.

And in some ways, before we just throw Saul out and say he's an idiot, most of us would probably act like Saul. We'd be threatened,

and then we love our kids, and we know, well, wait, if I'm not gonna be king, fine. But that means this guy's gonna be king, my son loses inheritance. He was I want him to be king. And that's why he's yelling at him. He's so mad. He's like, why are you so stupid? Don't you realize that if you're his friend and he stays alive,

you're never gonna be king.

And look what he says, now go and get him so I can kill him. See, that's the first instance. That's the that's the original Darth Vader right there. He's like, son, join me and side by side, we will rule Israel together. And John is like, no, never. Loses his hand.

Takes a skill to work Star Wars into vague moments, I'm telling you.

But look what Jonathan does. He says, why should he be put to death? Jonathan asked his father. What has he done? You realize he's trying to be a good friend to his dad right now. He's giving him wisdom. But here's what Saul does. Then Saul hurled his spirit Jonathan intending to kill him.

And this is the understatement of all understatements. Bible does this a lot. So at last, Jonathan realized that his father really was determined to kill David. You mean him telling him the phrase go get him so I can kill him didn't make you realize it? He's like, yeah, whatever. I'm I'm still not sure. Woah.

He just tried to kill me. I think you really do wanna kill David. Dude, look what he did. He angered his father and his father almost killed him. And his father made sense. His father said, you realize if we don't do this, you'll never be king.

The first way real friends, war buddies, the type of friendships we need to have, point number one,

is real friends are loyal even when it's costly. They are loyal even when it's costly. Now that's one of those points you say, yeah, no, duh. But we don't live like that. We don't act like that in real life. We tend to once it gets costly for me to be your friend, I'm out of here.

That is the primary reason the divorce rate is where it is. I love you. I'll be your your your spouse should be one of your best friends in the whole planet, but yet I just can't take you anymore. I can't do this. So it's like the second it's costly to be your spouse, I'm gone.

Real friends are willing to be loyal even if it's cost you. So with each one of these points, just ask yourself, when you heard that statement, did a name and a face of someone in your life pop into your head?

Here's the tougher one. Do you think your name and face would pop into someone else's head if they were asked that question? Are you willing to be a friend even when the bullets start flying? It's the first point, but it goes deeper than that. Turn a couple pages over, couple chapters. Chapter 23.

Not only are friends loyal when it's costly, it goes a step further. You go further, read the next two chapters this week, you'll love it. It's awesome stuff, but what's happening is it becomes obvious. Saul, now his son knows, he just goes out, starts chasing David down, tries to kill him. David's out on the backside of the wilderness. We're gonna look at that a little bit, next week, and out where only criminals and and outcasts live,

and he's running for his life, living out in middle of nowhere. Probably confused because he's a teenager that was told he was gonna be the next king, and now he's running for his life. And in this moment, Saul's trying to locate him, and and Jonathan figures out, and he goes and finds his friend,

and he talks to him. And here's what he says to him in in chapter 23 starting in verse 15. He says, one day near Horus, David received the news that Saul was on the way to Ziph to search for him and kill him. Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God.

Don't be afraid, Jonathan reassured him. My father will never find you. You're gonna be king of Israel, and I will be next to you, as my father Saul is well aware. So the two of them renewed their solemn pact before the Lord. Then Jonathan returned home while David stayed.

He already said it. He's like, here he's all looking for him, and his father's trying to kill him. He goes and finds his friend and encourages him. And he says, don't worry. He's not gonna be king. And the powerful thing there is he says, and my dad knows this, and he knows when you're king, I'll stand right next to you.

You realize to stand next to him is him king. Who was supposed by by the way they were set up, who would have been king? So to stand next to him and believe he's gonna be king means I gotta step down so you can step up. I'm not gonna what he's saying is I will not

kinda take you to court or or make a fight over the throne. When my dad's out of the way, you're king. I'm not gonna take that from you. So friends are not only that have your back or loyal when it's costly, they root for your success even if it's painful.

Even if it hurts them personally. Even if it's like, wow. This is this is a blow to what would be pleasant for me. I'm willing to root for you even to the point of me stepping back. That that that's a tough one. Think about it. Jonathan was good at this. Like, it's like think about it.

He had to step down so David could step up. David also is the guy that that killed a giant. In this moment, Jonathan killed two giants, pride and self interest. David only had to kill that giant once then to step up and take his role. Jonathan had to kill his giants every day that he was David's friend. Every day.

That's a good friend. Now I know some of you are thinking, well, when you read it, maybe Jonathan didn't want to be king. Maybe he was he was like one of those slaggers, dude, I I just want to play video games and and work on my vlog or whatever it is. And and

and and, you know, and I I just want to work at Dutch Bros, man. All That's I wanna do. And and maybe that's what he is, but that's not true. Maybe you thought he was afraid. He wasn't wired like his dad. He didn't really that's not true. All you have to do is read the rest of the story. Go back to first Samuel 14 and read that. There's a story where where Jonathan has a David and Goliath moment that saves all of Israel too. They're in a war against these Philistines. There's only two swords in the all of Israel. It's Jonathan's and his dad's. They don't even have metal. They're with sticks going, how are we gonna fight these guys? And and and and Jonathan gets frustrated. His dad's like trying to go, what are we gonna do? What are gonna do? They're trying to tactics with generals. He grabs his armor bearer and go, let's go check out the situation. So they start reconnoitering

the the lines to see what's going on. And they come across, they see a little garrison, a little outpost on the flanks. It's like 20 guys. And Jonathan looks up at these guys are up. You have to climb up to get to them. He goes, you know what? Let's expose ourselves to them. Not the kind that gets you on the front page of the news and fired. It's it's it's the it's the kind that says, let's go out there and and and and let them see us and see what they say. If they challenge us to a fight, we're gonna take that

as a signal from God that God says, we'll have victory and we should go fight them. Two guys, 20. I don't it doesn't say how smart his armor bearer was. But he goes, that's a great idea, Jonathan. Let's do that.

So they do. The guys invite him up to fight. They run up there, en route him. The two guys, they kill all 20 guys. It causes panic in the rest of the Philistine line. They're like, what's going on? We're under attack. What's that? They freak out so much that they start actually

seeing each other, not knowing who the enemy is. They start fighting each other and killing each other.

And in that process, Saul looks over and goes, what is going on? I don't know. He goes, take roll. Who's not here? They they they look. They go, only your son and his armor bearer is not here. He's like, alright. Well, they've done something over there. Let's take advantage of it, basically. And they ride into battle. And in the confusion and all that, they run over to them and fight. And even though they're outnumbered, outgunned, out everything, in all the confusion, it says they routed the Philistines. And it says, Israel was saved on that day. The same thing that when David killed Goliath, Israel was saved on that day. Jonathan

had a David and Goliath moment too. He was more than capable of being a leader. He was more than capable of being king. He was not a coward, but he saw David's giftedness, and he saw the calling God had on him, and he was willing to step down so he can step up. Do you have friends like that?

Are you a friend like that? We wanna say we are. But what's crazy is when especially since we look for friends that have the same interests. So sometimes we have friends that are in the same field,

and we root for each other, but doesn't it get a little bit weird when it's like, wait, why did he get that promotion and not me? All of a sudden, wait until that friend becomes more successful than you. What do you do then? I mean, look in Hollywood.

They're not the the the paragon of great marriages to begin with. But if you look look at the divorce rates among actors that marry other actors, That one is very successful and very well known. The other is kind of an unknown. You'll be amazed at how high the divorce rate is when the roles reverse.

When all of a sudden, the unknown, well, we love each other. I'm encouraging them. I root for their success. All the way until a sudden you're not getting any roles and they're winning the Oscars and getting $20,000,000 a movie.

We do this. Jonathan was a good friend because he was loyal when it was costly and rooted for David even when it was painful. He had to step back from his own self interest. You know, on both of those points, my dad was one of my best friends in the right way.

When I was in college, whatever, I was going to be ministry, I was playing baseball. Long story short,

I end up leaving the school I was at, going back to ASU, and I went through this period where I didn't run from God. I I loved God. I wanted to serve him, but I felt like, you know what? Maybe I'm not gonna go into ministry. I don't I don't think I'm gonna go that way. I'm gonna go get a degree in history, be a teacher and a coach. I'll still love Jesus. I'm not saying that's a wrong way, but in my mind, I thought I was gonna do. And my dad and mom were happy that I came home. I said, can I come back home, go to school? Of course you can. They liked me. They weren't I wasn't the type of kid that they changed the locks as soon as I moved out. So I so I moved back home, and and my dad and I were close. We'd go hang out. We started bowling in a league together. I hadn't been hadn't lived here in two and a half years, so it's like we were hanging out, seeing each other every day, and going to baseball games and all that. My mom was happy at home. It was awesome. I mean, only thing is he sat me down. You're gonna mow the lawn or clean the pool because I'm not paying both guys if I have you back in my house.

And I thought that's fair. At least he didn't make me do both. And and so we so so we're we're sitting there and I was there about four months. And one day we're sitting there watching a baseball game with TV trays, you know, eating a steak. And and right in the middle of this game, my dad just sets his fork down,

turns and looks straight at me, squints with his one eye. And he goes, son, what the are you doing here? He said, h e double hockey sticks. It's hell. That's in the bible. But he goes, what did I go? I'm eating a steak and watching a baseball game with you? I just is losing it? And he goes, you know that's not what I mean.

Why are you back home? Why are going to AC? Why are you studying to be a teacher? Like this? Well, you know, I'm just kind of burned out. I just think that's where I wanna go. And and and my dad goes, you know, son, there is nothing I find more joy in personally than getting up every day knowing that you're here.

But I can't live with myself as your father if I allow this to just happen for my joy when I think you're running from your giftedness and calling? Are you sure this is where you should be? And I said, well, an old mentor of mine, fact, he called me up and he wanted me to come move back to California

and and serve with him in in in youth ministry. And and I kind of wanted to not do it, but I've been thinking about it. It's been knocking around in my my dad just knew. And he goes, well, son, you know what? As much as this pains me, I think you need to leave. He didn't want me to leave personally, but he was a friend

that was a war buddy.

He knew I needed to. So I did. But he said, we need to tell your mom together.

Strength in numbers, son. If you can go in if you can take an objective with overwhelming force, use the overwhelming force. Because she is not and I go, and I really need your help now because when she finds out I brought this up, you gotta watch my back, son. And I did. I left and I moved.

Three and a half, two months later, I started dating Carrie, who's been my wife for almost twenty six years now. That's where I got her. My kids exist, and here's the kicker. We're all standing here listening to me tell the story because my dad was a good enough friend to say, what the hell are you doing here?

That was painful to him, but he was rooting for me.

And by the way, you can be your kid's friend if you're that kind of a friend.

But see, we know we don't think friendship is the same as what the Bible says anymore. Because when you say, oh, they just wanna be their kid's friend, we obviously say that as a negative thing. Because it usually means make them avoid pain, give them whatever they want, cave.

But if you're the type of friend that says, I'm gonna look at you and I'm gonna root for you, and rooting for you means I'm gonna challenge you to do something that even if I don't personally get joy out of it, I'm gonna let you go. It changed my life because he was willing. That's a good friend.

It's the kind of friend Jonathan was. Do you have friends like that? Are you a friend like that? Because there's a one more little piece in the same passage we just read here. There's one last thing in verse sixteen and seventeen. I jumped over it fast. It says, when Jonathan first talked to David, he said, he encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God. Don't be afraid.

Jonathan reassured him.

My father will never find you, and you're going to be the king. You realize what he was doing there is he went and found him to encourage him, and the last thing is friends are all are loyal even when it's costly. They root for you even when when when it's painful. They root for your success, and finally,

they look for God's hand in your life. That's what my dad was doing too in that story. He's looking at how God had called me, and he was looking for God's hand, and he was trying to give me guidance based on where God wanted to use me. And real friends, the friends that you need to be the closest are to running packages more in the next weeks, but you need to have friends that you're pointing yourself to Jesus. You are looking as Jesus is the greatest war buddy of all time.

He he laid down his life for us even when we were disloyal. And what he wants us to do is say, I came on a mission to love you. I died for you. I proved that I'm your best war buddy and the best friend you ever had. Now model me and go get friends that you do the same. Look to my mission. Look to me. And Jonathan was that kind of guy. The reason he was able to do this is because he was kingdom minded,

not just minding his own kingdom. And that's the biggest thing. Write that down. Put that on your refrigerator. And then quote me. Because it's one of the smarter things I've ever said. Jonathan was kingdom minded, not just concerned with minding his kingdom.

That is the number one problem we have as being Christians in the church today.

Too many of us wanna find a church, but we are still minding our own kingdom, and we're worried about making my kingdom work. We are not kingdom minded. We're not going, as the people of God, what hill has he told us to take? Where are we supposed to go? How does he want us to follow him? And we're in this together watching each other's backs as war buddies. But if we get too busy binding our own kingdom, David in our life is a threat.

And we're gonna miss the opportunity to see God's hands in their lives and have friends that'll see him in ours.

When you see God's hands, sometimes you gotta say stuff that's that that that's encouraging, but can be taken as not encouraging. Why did David, Jonathan, have to go encourage David? Isn't David the one that's gonna take his inheritance?

Well, what you might not know, as much as you've read the Bible, some of you, is Jonathan was an adult. David was a teenager when they met. John was older. Another reason to say, why is this guy gonna be king?

But instead, he encouraged him. Why did he need to encourage him? Think about it. Think about it. If you're a teenager that gets anointed in front of all of your older brothers, and dad didn't even choose to put you in the room to get picked, you know you are the underdog of all underdogs. And the prophet above God says, you're the next king. What do you think a teenager's gonna think how that process is gonna roll out?

Bow before me. I go, I kill this giant. They give me the throne. I'm the king. People sing songs, We're all saying dilly dilly. You know, that's what we think it's gonna be. But that's not how his life went. He kills a giant. He's been a threat. He's running for his life at the backside of the wilderness.

His life went the wrong way. And it would be really easy for him in that moment to say, where is God in this? God promised. God said this was gonna be my life. Why is this happening? And Jonathan said, don't lose the strength of your faith in God.

You don't see it right now. God is doing something even through this painful moment. And if you trust him, you're gonna get through it. Do you have friends that'll tell you that? Or do you only rally allies? People that wanna tell you what you wanna hear or take away pain as quickly as they possibly can.

That's one of the worst things we do as parents, by the way. We try to oh, my kids have been, I gotta remove it. That's one of the best gifts my dad and mom ever gave me. Bushes do hard things. And sometimes you get yourself into a hard moment and my dad would say, you know what? God's gonna use this. It's gonna teach you.

I could just bail you, but I'm not.

Sometimes you need to encourage. What he said is I'm not gonna change. I can't get you out of this mess, but I can join you in it. And I can encourage you that through this thing, God is in it. What desert are you in? You're out in with the outcasts and the criminal. You're you're out on the backside of the wilderness,

and you're like, wait. Wait. Wait. God made all these prom where is it? Do you have friends that can look at that and see where God is working in that and encourage you not to just say, me take this away, but encourage you to see it the way God sees it. Do you have friends like that? Are you that kind of a friend?

Being that kind of friend's hard. It's scary. Because sometimes when you tell someone, hey, God's in this. You can try it's like, don't tell me that. Blah blah blah. You know, they they get mad. Being that kind of a parent friend is nearly impossible.

Because I thought my dad was great. I'll just go do it. I'm naturally. I'm a bush. I do hard things. I have caved so many more times with my kids than my dad did. And I get it back together, and now I like I wish I could call him up and say, dad, how did you do this? Mom, how did this was this is hard.

When you just said, nope.

Why aren't you are you certain that's gonna work, dad? No. I'm not certain, but I will be clear. This is what we're doing. And I'm like, it seems so easy when he said it. It seems so easy when he says life's hard. It's harder if you're stupid. You know, stuff like that. Just, you know, when he would challenge me that it seems so easy till you're there. And now I'm like, wow. This was so hard.

But do you have friends like that? And can you choose to covenant to be a friend like that? You know, that's why we start groups. That's why we're asking people to be willing to open up their home and be trained and and and be a group leader. We're not here to get acquaintances

that get to know the Bible. We're not here to just try to get friends that study the Bible and talk about how bad the preaching is at Rock Point and stuff like that. Our groups are intended to develop war buddies.

And that's where you might have people in there that are like minded, you might not. But you know what we are? We're gonna be kingdom minded, and we're gonna look out for each other. That's what veterans of combat do. Mission minded, look out for each other. And we you have to enlist in that. You have to. I can't draft you.

You have to enlist in covenant like David and Jonathan did. You have to make the choice to develop those types of friendships. And they're hard, but when you need them, it's so good to have them. Where would your life be without them? Where would David be without Jonathan? Do you have those friendships?

Because I'll tell you this. I was talking to this guy that served under my dad, and at some point in the conversation, he finally put two and two together and figured, wait, why is the son of my war buddy calling me? And he goes, how is your father? And I had to tell him he had died almost seven years before.

And there was a pause. And then I heard a cry build into a weep on the phone. An 80 year old man who grew up in that gender, you could tell he'd probably tried to fight hold it back. And he just started weeping to me

over a man who he missed out on talking to again that he hadn't seen in almost sixty years.

And the lesson is, why did he get on that website? Why did he reach out? He's at the back end of his life and he realized there was something that happened in that moment that showed me what friendship could be that I didn't understand at the time and I never had again.

And as he was crying, he finally got these words out. Your dad was a great leader. I'm here because of him. I made it because of him, but he was a better friend.

Can you say that about people in your life? Let's not wait till it's almost done. What if we look at the biblical principles and choose to seek it out and develop it in our marriages, as parents, in the relationships, in community? What would happen if we actually intentionally sought war buddies?

How could that change the world, our world, and other people's world? Father God, I just thank you, Lord. I thank you for you how much you do love us. Lord, I thank you that as we said that

especially someone's new here and it's a little bit overwhelming, father, I pray that they do get at least the sense that you are the greatest war buddy. You're the you're the best friend ever. As as you said, there's no greater love than for a man to lay down his life for another, and that's exactly what you came to do.

So I pray people will come here understanding that you are their best friend, and in challenging us to have these kind of friendships, these war buddy friendships, friends born for adversity, that all you're doing is you're calling us to model you in our lives because we desperately need it.

So Lord, I pray that anyone in this room that's struggling with this, that they would choose to intentionally look for these kind of friends and probably begin by saying, I'm gonna choose to learn how to be this kind of friend. And may they start with their closest friendships that they do have right now.

Lord, bless us with that. I thank you for how you use friends in my life and in our lives to alter our destinies. And we give you all the glory and the praise for that, and I just pray this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.