All The Feels | Week 7 | Bill Bush

Pastor Bill Bush · May 23, 2021

Big Idea

Sad isn't bad — sadness is an emotion to be understood and surfed toward God, not swum straight at or run from.

Sadness feels like something to escape or deny, but it's actually a wave to learn to surf rather than a threat to fight or flee. Using David's honest cry in Psalm 13, we can learn to clarify what's really making us sad, cry out to God about it, and cling to His unfailing love even before the relief comes.

Key points

1
1Clarify your sadness before God — dig past the surface issue to what's really underneath it.
Pastor Bill walks through Psalm 13:1-2 where David cries out 'how long' God will forget him, showing that David's deepest pain isn't just his circumstances (being hunted) but feeling disconnected from God's promise. He illustrates this with his own family story: his wife's sadness over their youngest leaving for college in England turned out to be about the end of an entire parenting season and a buried sense of identity, not just the distance.
2
2Cry out to God to remove your sadness — He can handle your raw honesty.
In Psalm 13:3-4 David begs God to 'turn and answer' and restore the sparkle to his eyes, and Pastor Bill notes David isn't first asking for the sadness to end but for the relationship to be restored. He points to Job's blunt complaints to God (Job 10:1-3) and to Jesus crying 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' on the cross, quoting David's own Psalm 22, to show God welcomes raw lament rather than polished prayers.
3
3Even Jesus modeled honest lament followed by submission, not denial.
Pastor Bill recounts Jesus in Gethsemane sweating blood and asking the Father to 'take this cup from me' before submitting with 'not my will, but thy will be done.' He uses this to show that asking God for another way isn't unfaithful, but the posture ultimately has to land on surrender.
4
4Cling to God's unfailing love through the sadness rather than clinging to whatever makes the pain stop.
David ends the psalm with 'but I trust in your unfailing love' and turns to singing, and Pastor Bill explains that the Hebrew word behind 'trust' means to cling or hold on to, an action word, not a feeling. He warns that when we cling to fear and frustration instead of God's love (chesed, His never-ending love), we chase after anything that stops the pain — which is how affairs and addictions start.
5
5Naming your own sadness honestly, even as the preacher, is part of the process, not a failure of faith.
Pastor Bill turns the sermon on himself, confessing that while coaching his wife through her sadness about their daughter leaving for college, he broke down and realized he had been the one in denial, sitting in the sand while she was at least in the water. He names his fear of feeling like a failed provider and prays honestly about it rather than pretending it isn't there.

Application

Pastor Bill's charge is to learn to surf sadness rather than swim straight at it or deny it exists.

Clarify what's really making you sad
Don't stop at the surface-level cause. Keep asking 'why does that make me so sad' until you find the deeper layer, and see a doctor or counselor if the sadness feels disproportionate or lingering.
Cry out to God honestly
Stop hiding your complaint from God and venting to everyone else instead. Bring your rawest emotions directly to Him the way David, Job, and even Jesus did.
Cling to God's unfailing love, not to quick fixes
Trust means holding on and obeying, not just feeling better. Keep following God's purpose and worshiping Him even before relief comes, rather than chasing whatever will numb the pain.

Take it into your week

Scripture in this message

From the transcript
“we're gonna be in in in in Psalms 13, and just a little bit of background to this, Psalm 13 was written by David, and we've talked about King David”
From the transcript
“let's read the first two verses. It says, oh Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? Does that sound like a happy person”
From the transcript
“here's how he says it in verse chapter 10 verse one through three. I am disgusted with my life. You ever felt like that? You're just so frustrated. Let me complain freely”
From the transcript
“And then verse three says, what do you what do you gain by oppressing me? Why do you reject me, the work of your own hands, while smiling on the schemes of the wicked”
From the transcript
“he had cried out, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Here's the crazy part about that. Think about how so and Jesus never sinned”
From the transcript
“When he said that, Jesus was quoting Psalm 22. You know who wrote Psalm 22? Another song about a time when he was feeling forsaken during this period of of wandering in the wilderness”
Paraphrase of the transcript
But then look at verse five. But, but, remember what they say, if you you know, I learned this in cemetery, I mean seminary. Look for the buts. And he says, but I trust in your unfailing love.
From the transcript
“And then in verse six, I will sing to the Lord because he's good to me. So it ends with a song. These are songs he ended up singing”

7-day devotional

A personal reading plan from this message — scripture, reflection, and prayer for each day.

Day 1

Most of us have been taught, in a hundred quiet ways, that sadness is the enemy. We learn to outrun it, numb it, or paste a smile over it before anyone notices. Pastor Bill named that instinct plainly: we treat good feelings as the destination and do whatever it takes to escape the bad ones. But feelings were never meant to be a destination — they are guides. And sadness, in particular, is often pointing somewhere important. David opens Psalm 13 with a raw, almost shocking question: 'O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way?' He doesn't dress it up. He doesn't apologize for it. He starts exactly where he is. That is worth pausing over. David, described elsewhere as a man after God's own heart, did not hide his anguish from God. He brought it straight to the one who could actually hold it. Before you can surf a wave, you have to get in the water. Before you can bring your sadness honestly to God, it helps to admit it is really there. Not as a spiritual failure. Not as a sign that your faith is thin. Just as a real thing that is happening inside you, worth naming before the One who already knows.

For reflection

What feeling have you been most tempted to outrun or cover over lately — and what might it actually be pointing toward?

Pray

Pray for the courage to stop running from what is real inside you and to bring it honestly before God today.

Small-group discussion guide

For leading a group conversation about this message.

Open

This message takes a close look at Psalm 13 — a raw, honest prayer David wrote from what may have been years of wilderness wandering — and asks what it might look like to bring our sadness to God rather than fight it or run from it.

Discussion questions

1
In Psalm 13:1-2, David asks 'How long, O Lord?' four times in just two verses. What do you notice about the way David addresses God here — and what does that suggest about what honest prayer can look like?
2
The message drew a distinction between feelings as guides versus feelings as goals — the idea being that we tend to chase good feelings and escape bad ones. What problems might that kind of approach create when someone is walking through real loss or grief?
3
Pastor Bill pointed to Job, David, and Jesus — who quoted Psalm 22:1 from the cross — as examples of people who cried out to God with raw, unfiltered emotion. What does it tell us about God that He preserved those cries in Scripture rather than editing them out?
4
In Psalm 13:5-6, David shifts from anguish to praise — but nothing in his circumstances has changed yet. Pastor Bill described 'trust' there as an action word meaning to hold on, obey, and keep following. How might that picture of trust change the way we think about what clinging to God actually involves?
5
Pastor Bill used the image of paddling before the wave arrives — starting to worship in the middle of sadness so you are positioned to catch what God sends. What might that look like practically for a person or a community that is still in the hard part, before anything has changed?
6
Pastor Bill was candid that he had been coaching others through grief while avoiding his own. How might a community — friends, a small group, a family — help each other move toward honesty with God rather than staying numb or busy?

Pray together

Honest hearts before God — thanking Him that He is safe enough to receive our rawest emotions, and asking for the courage to clarify what is truly hurting, cry out without hiding it, and cling to His unfailing love even before the wave of relief arrives

Topics

Clinging to God's Love Honest Prayer Processing Sadness Worship in Suffering

All The Feels | Week 7 | Bill Bush

Big Idea

Key points

Application

Take it into your week

Scripture in this message

7-day devotional

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Small-group discussion guide

Open

Discussion questions

Pray together