Key points
1Children are a gift from God, and God is the one who invented parenting.
Pastor Scott reads Psalm 127:3-5, which calls children a gift and reward from the Lord, and notes that God designed parenting and walks with parents through it rather than abandoning them to figure it out alone.
children are a gift from the lord
2God's goal in parenting is to help kids grow up on the inside, not just the outside.
Using Genesis 2:24 about leaving father and mother, Pastor Scott jokes about a 40-year-old still living in the basement to make the point that God wants children to mature internally into responsible adults, not just grow up physically with little help.
god's kids are jacked up
3The myth to debunk: our kids' happiness is the priority. The truth: their heart is.
Pastor Scott names the common trap of making a child's happiness the goal, which leads to exhausted, manipulative parenting, and argues from Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 27:19, and Matthew 12:35 that the heart determines the course and reflects the real person, so happiness flows out of a healthy heart, not the other way around.
4Shepherding a child's heart means wearing three hats: encourager, comforter, and the one who urges them on.
Drawing on 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12, where Paul deals with the Thessalonians as a father dealing with his own children, Pastor Scott describes discerning in each moment whether a child needs encouragement, comfort, or a push toward what God is calling them to.
5Recognize that God is always at work in your child, and give Him room to move.
Pastor Scott tells the extended story of his daughter Morgan's Mozambique marine biology internship, the travel and visa fiasco, her nearly backing out, and the moment she swam with a humpback whale, showing how giving God space let her dependence shift from her parents to God.
A story from life
Scott's story of his daughter Morgan pursuing a marine research internship in Mozambique despite logistical obstacles, and eventually swimming with a humpback whale
Illustration
A flight in a 1943 World War II trainer plane piloted by Tony, an American Airlines pilot and veteran advocate, illustrating the instinct to grab the joystick during a two-g turn
6Respond more than you react — let kids sample the bad and savor the good instead of rescuing them from everything.
Using the story of flying in a 1943 stunt plane and wanting to grab the joystick during a turn, Pastor Scott illustrates the instinct to rescue kids from every hard moment, and instead urges parents to sit with kids in pain long enough for them to process it, and to celebrate their wins.
7The key to healthy parenting is a healthy parent.
Pastor Scott points to Philippians 4:9, where Paul tells believers to put into practice what they've seen in him, to argue that caring for our own souls, becoming emotionally healthy, and pursuing a healthy marriage matters more than any parenting technique because kids learn by watching.
the key to healthy parenting is a healthy parent
I would suggest the greatest thing that you and I can do for our kids is to care for our own soul
don't you stare at me, woman. You don't know what I've gone through
There is no judging of one another here today in this conversation
A story from life
Scott's story of a meltdown at a grocery store checkout with his ten-month-old daughter Ashley
Application
Pastor Scott frames the charge as shepherding your child's heart the way a pastor would, by wearing the right hat and getting your own soul healthy first.
Make your child's heart the priority
Instead of chasing your kid's happiness, ask what's happening in their heart, since Proverbs says the heart determines the course of life.
Recognize God is always at work
When your child faces a big decision or opportunity, give God room to move rather than assuming you have to control the outcome.
Respond instead of react
Resist the urge to grab the joystick and rescue your kids from every hard moment; instead coach them to process the situation and make their own wise decision.
Let them sample the bad and savor the good
Sit with your kids in pain long enough for them to process it instead of rescuing them from it, and be their biggest cheerleader when they win.
Care for your own soul
Pursue emotional and spiritual health and a healthy marriage this week, since kids learn parenting and life by watching you, not just by hearing advice.
Take it into your week
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