War Buddies | Week 1 · Rewind

War Buddies | Week 1 · Rewind

Pastor Bill Bush · Jan 28, 2018

Big Idea

Real friendship — the "war buddy" kind — is loyal even when it's costly, roots for your success even when it's painful, and points you back to God's hand in your life.

God designed friendship not for easy peacetime comfort but to be forged in adversity, like the unbreakable bond soldiers form under fire. Through David and Jonathan, we see what that costly, kingdom-minded friendship looks like, and we're invited to stop settling for acquaintances or allies and start becoming — and seeking — real war buddies.

Key points

1
1Friendship, biblically, is born for adversity, not peacetime ease.
Pastor Bill opens with combat veterans' stories, including his own father's, to show that bonds formed under fire outlast almost any other friendship. He grounds this in Proverbs 17:17, noting the second line — 'a brother is born for adversity' — is the key, arguing our culture only wants friendship without conflict, so we run when the bullets start flying.
2
2David and Jonathan are the case study for what a 'war buddy' friendship looks like.
Pastor Bill sets up David's rise from youngest son to giant-slayer to threat to King Saul, and introduces Jonathan, the prince who by all rights should have resented David but became his closest friend instead.
3
3Real friends are loyal even when it's costly.
Working through 1 Samuel 20, Pastor Bill shows Jonathan testing his father's intentions for David's sake, absorbing Saul's rage and even a thrown spear, and still standing by David despite the personal danger and family conflict it created.
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4Real friends root for your success even when it's personally painful.
In 1 Samuel 23:15-18, Jonathan finds David in hiding and promises to stand beside him as king — meaning Jonathan himself steps aside from the throne. Pastor Bill calls this killing the giants of pride and self-interest every day, and illustrates it with his own story of his father sending him off to ministry and to meet his future wife, even though it cost his dad his son's daily company.
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5Real friends look for God's hand in your life and point you back to Him.
Pastor Bill notes Jonathan encouraged David to stay strong in his faith even while David was a fugitive in the wilderness, not removing his pain but helping him see God at work in it. He warns that many of us only want friends who remove pain instead of friends who help us see God in it, and names the deeper problem as being 'kingdom minded, not just minding my own kingdom.'
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6Jesus is the ultimate war buddy, and He calls us to make and be friends like that.
Pastor Bill closes by pointing to Jesus laying down His life for us while we were disloyal as the model and source for this kind of friendship, urging that groups and community at Rock Point exist to build these covenant friendships rather than mere acquaintances.

Application

Pastor Bill frames the challenge as enlisting: you have to choose to covenant into these war-buddy friendships, because no one can draft you into one.

Name the face that comes to mind
When you hear 'loyal even when costly,' notice whose name and face popped into your head — and ask honestly whether your name would pop into theirs.
Root for a friend's success, even when it costs you
Choose to celebrate and make room for someone else's calling or success even when it personally hurts you, the way Jonathan stepped back from the throne for David.
Point friends to God's hand instead of just removing their pain
When someone you love is in a hard season, resist just rescuing them from it; help them see where God is working in it, as Jonathan did for David in the wilderness.
Enlist in a covenant friendship, starting in a group
Join or lead a Rock Point group aiming for war-buddy friendship, not just acquaintance-level Bible study, and make the deliberate choice to be that kind of friend to those already closest to you.

Take it into your week

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7-day devotional

A personal reading plan from this message — scripture, reflection, and prayer for each day.

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Day 1

Most of us have plenty of people to grab coffee with when life is good. But the sermon opened with a question that cuts deeper: who shows up when things fall apart? Proverbs 17:17 draws a sharp line — a friend loves at all times, but a brother is born for a time of adversity. That word 'adversity' isn't incidental. It's the point. God didn't design close friendship as a bonus for easy seasons. He designed it as a lifeline for hard ones. Jonathan didn't become David's closest ally during a celebration. Their bond was forged in the shadow of a king who wanted David dead. That's the kind of friendship this proverb is describing — not fair-weather loyalty, but the kind that holds when holding is costly. It's worth sitting with that honestly today. Think about the relationships in your life right now. Are they mostly peacetime friendships — enjoyable, surface-level, built for good weather? There's nothing wrong with those, but the sermon's challenge is not to settle for only those. God has more in mind. He wants you to have at least one person — and to be at least one person — who was made for the hard days. That kind of friendship doesn't just happen. It's chosen, cultivated, and sustained over time.

For reflection

When you think about the hardest season you've walked through, who actually showed up — and what made their presence feel different from everyone else's?

Pray

Pray for honest eyes to see your friendships as they actually are, and for a willing heart to pursue the deeper kind.

Small-group discussion guide

For leading a group conversation about this message.

Open

Think about a friendship that held up under real pressure — not just good times, but a season when something was actually at stake. This message asks what that kind of friendship is really made of.

Discussion questions

1
Proverbs 17:17 says, 'A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.' What do you think the writer means by linking loyalty specifically to 'time of need' rather than to ordinary life?
2
In 1 Samuel 20:30-33, Jonathan's father Saul turns on him — verbally and physically — for siding with David. What does Jonathan's response in that moment reveal about what drives his commitment to David?
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In 1 Samuel 23:15-18, Jonathan seeks David out in the wilderness and tells him he will be the next king — even though that means Jonathan himself gives up the throne. What does it look like for a friend to genuinely root for someone else's success when it costs them something personally?
4
First Samuel 23:16 says Jonathan 'encouraged David to strengthen his faith in God.' The message described this as one of the marks of a true 'war buddy' friendship. How might that kind of encouragement look different from just cheering someone up or telling them things will be okay?
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The message drew a contrast between self-focused alliances and what it called kingdom-minded friendship. How would you describe the difference between the two in practice — what would each one look like inside a marriage, a family, or a small group?
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The message held up Jesus as the ultimate example of this kind of friendship and called us to 'enlist — not drift' into covenant relationships. What might it look like for a group like this one to move intentionally in that direction, starting with the people already in front of us?

Pray together

Ask God to make us the kind of friend to others that He has already been to us in Jesus — loyal, selfless, and pointing each other back to Him

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Topics

Covenant Friendship David and Jonathan Loyalty in Hardship Sacrificial Love

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