KINGS | Week 4 | Full Service · Rewind

KINGS | Week 4 | Full Service · Rewind

Pastor Bill Bush · May 8, 2023

Big Idea

The real challenge in life is not the hard circumstances we face but allowing ourselves to be challenged by others.

Growth doesn't come from external systems of accountability but from the humility to actually let people speak truth into our lives, especially when it hurts. Saul and David both failed badly, but David let himself be challenged and grew, while Saul refused and was rejected — and that same choice faces every one of us today.

Key points

1
1The real challenge is allowing ourselves to be challenged
Pastor Bill opens with a story about his church's leadership retreat where he invited his team to air grievances about him, and discovered that even though he set up the system, following through when it got personal was far harder than he expected. He names this as the theme of the whole series on accountability: systems don't guarantee anything, you have to be humble enough to allow it.
2
2Saul looked willing to be challenged but couldn't sustain it
Walking through 1 Samuel 19, Jonathan confronts his father Saul about wanting to kill David, and Saul initially vows David won't be killed. But the moment it becomes hard again, Saul hurls a spear at David, showing his agreement only lasted until it hurt.
3
3Four qualities are required for accountability to actually change us
Pastor Bill names availability (being accessible and interruptible), honesty (committed to truth even when it hurts), vulnerability (able to admit mistakes and sin), and teachability (quick to listen, willing to respond). He shows Saul had availability but lacked the other three, which is why being challenged never produced change in him.
4
4David modeled what it looks like to accept a hard truth in the moment it hurts
In 2 Samuel 19, Joab confronts David for mourning Absalom instead of honoring the troops who risked everything for him. Even though Joab had killed David's son, David absorbs the rebuke and goes out to the gate to meet his people, showing he was available, honest, vulnerable, and teachable even in the middle of deep grief.
5
5We deflect accountability by attacking the who instead of the what
Pastor Bill describes four common reactions to being challenged: no, why, who, and how. He spends most time on who, showing how we disqualify the truth of what someone says by judging who they are or listing their faults, comparing it to two kids calling each other stupid, and says pride and fear are the two forces driving us to do this.
6
6Three proverbs explain why we need this kind of accountability
Using Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 15:31-33, and Proverbs 27:5-6, Pastor Bill teaches that friends sharpen us so we see the fuller picture we're blind to on our own, that humility precedes honor and keeps us from stumbling, and that an open rebuke from a sincere friend is worth more than empty flattery.
7
7Real community holds you accountable rather than just taking your side
Pastor Bill warns that many small groups only offer allies who tell you what you want to hear about your spouse or struggles, rather than sincere friends willing to challenge you. He urges people to evaluate their home groups honestly and become the kind of community that gives wounds from a sincere friend rather than the many kisses of an enemy.

Application

Pastor Bill's charge is that challenging our challenges is very tough, but allowing ourselves to be challenged is the whole point.

Embrace truth when it hurts, not until it hurts
Don't just agree with correction in theory — accept it in the actual moment it costs you something, the way David did with Joab.
Stop attacking the who and deal with the what
When someone challenges you, resist the urge to disqualify them by their faults or history; ask 'how do we fix this' instead of building a defensive list.
Evaluate your home group honestly
Talk with your group this week about whether you're really practicing open rebuke from sincere friends or just trading comfortable kisses that avoid anything tough.
Give people permission to interrupt and correct you
Like Pastor Bill did with his team, invite the people close to you to name your blind spots, and then actually let them do it when the moment comes.
Choose humility over pride and fear
Recognize that pride and fear are what push you to defend yourself instead of listening; ask God for the humility to accept correction rather than making excuses.

Take it into your week

Sign in to ask Rewind about this sermon

7-day devotional

A personal reading plan from this message — scripture, reflection, and prayer for each day.

Sign in to track your progress through this devotional.

Day 1

Saul had every advantage. He had the throne, the anointing, and the people's loyalty — and he threw it all away, not in a single dramatic moment, but through a slow refusal to be known. Pastor Bill pointed out that Saul lacked the four qualities true accountability requires: availability, honesty, vulnerability, and teachability. What's striking is that none of those four things require talent or position. They require only willingness. Saul wasn't brought down by his enemies. He was brought down by his own closed-off heart. It's worth sitting with that for a moment. Most of us don't think of ourselves as closed off. We show up to community, we answer questions, we pray with people. But availability means more than physical presence — it means being interruptible, being reachable at the level of the heart. Honesty means telling the truth about yourself, not just about your circumstances. Vulnerability means admitting the mistake out loud, not just feeling bad about it privately. And teachability means letting the correction actually land and change something. Saul had people around him. What he didn't have was the humility to let those people in. That's the quiet warning his story carries — that proximity to good community is not the same as actually receiving what good community offers.

For reflection

Of the four qualities — availability, honesty, vulnerability, and teachability — which one is hardest for you to practice, and why do you think that is?

Pray

Pray for an honest look at which of these four qualities your own heart most resists right now.

Small-group discussion guide

For leading a group conversation about this message.

Open

Think about a time you watched someone take a hard piece of feedback really well — maybe even gracefully. This message asks why that's so rare, and what it actually takes to get there.

Discussion questions

1
In 1 Samuel 19, Saul had people around him — but Pastor Bill said he still lacked availability, honesty, vulnerability, and teachability. What does it look like, in practice, to have community without actually having those four things?
2
In 2 Samuel 19, David receives hard correction from Joab — the very man who had just caused him grief — and he acts on it. What do you think made David able to hear the truth from someone in that position?
3
Pastor Bill pointed to pride and fear as the two roadblocks that cause us to focus on who is challenging us rather than what they're actually saying. How do those two things work differently to shut down accountability?
4
Proverbs 27:17 describes community as something that creates friction and heat. How does that image push back on the idea that a healthy group is one where everyone gets along smoothly and feels affirmed?
5
Proverbs 27:5-6 draws a contrast between wounds from a sincere friend and kisses from an enemy. What might it look like, in a real group of people, to tell the difference between the two?
6
Pastor Bill challenged us to stop being committed to truth only until it hurts. What do you think has to change — in a person or in a community — for truth to stay welcome even when it stings?

Pray together

Asking God for the humility to receive truth — especially when it's hard — and for the courage to be the kind of community that offers it with love

Sign in to save this message.

Topics

Accountability Community and Growth Pride and Humility Receiving Correction Teachability

Powered by Rewind · make your church's Rewind →