Key points
1Clarify your sadness before God — dig past the surface issue to what's really underneath it.
Pastor Bill walks through Psalm 13:1-2 where David cries out 'how long' God will forget him, showing that David's deepest pain isn't just his circumstances (being hunted) but feeling disconnected from God's promise. He illustrates this with his own family story: his wife's sadness over their youngest leaving for college in England turned out to be about the end of an entire parenting season and a buried sense of identity, not just the distance.
A story from life
Pastor Bill shares his wife's ongoing sadness over their youngest daughter's plan to attend university in London, and the layers of identity and fear they uncovered together
2Cry out to God to remove your sadness — He can handle your raw honesty.
In Psalm 13:3-4 David begs God to 'turn and answer' and restore the sparkle to his eyes, and Pastor Bill notes David isn't first asking for the sadness to end but for the relationship to be restored. He points to Job's blunt complaints to God (Job 10:1-3) and to Jesus crying 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' on the cross, quoting David's own Psalm 22, to show God welcomes raw lament rather than polished prayers.
The best safest place to let your most raw emotions out is before the Lord
3Even Jesus modeled honest lament followed by submission, not denial.
Pastor Bill recounts Jesus in Gethsemane sweating blood and asking the Father to 'take this cup from me' before submitting with 'not my will, but thy will be done.' He uses this to show that asking God for another way isn't unfaithful, but the posture ultimately has to land on surrender.
Jesus knows how you feel. Plain and simple
4Cling to God's unfailing love through the sadness rather than clinging to whatever makes the pain stop.
David ends the psalm with 'but I trust in your unfailing love' and turns to singing, and Pastor Bill explains that the Hebrew word behind 'trust' means to cling or hold on to, an action word, not a feeling. He warns that when we cling to fear and frustration instead of God's love (chesed, His never-ending love), we chase after anything that stops the pain — which is how affairs and addictions start.
Don't run away from God when you're sad. You should run into God's purpose in your life no matter what
5Naming your own sadness honestly, even as the preacher, is part of the process, not a failure of faith.
Pastor Bill turns the sermon on himself, confessing that while coaching his wife through her sadness about their daughter leaving for college, he broke down and realized he had been the one in denial, sitting in the sand while she was at least in the water. He names his fear of feeling like a failed provider and prays honestly about it rather than pretending it isn't there.
I realized the whole time I was trying to show her how to surf is because I was sitting in the sand. She was trying to fight through the waves, but at least she was wet
Sad isn't bad. It's just feels that way
A story from life
Pastor Bill reveals his own hidden sadness and fear of failing as a provider if his daughter cannot attend her chosen school in England
“we can't control emotions. They come like waves at the ocean, the beach. But we can decide which ones to surf, and we need to learn how to surf, sadness, so we can get to the shore of where God wants us to go with it”
A story from life
Pastor Bill recounts learning to surf as a youth pastor at a beach church, being pummeled by waves until an older man taught him the right technique
Application
Pastor Bill's charge is to learn to surf sadness rather than swim straight at it or deny it exists.
Clarify what's really making you sad
Don't stop at the surface-level cause. Keep asking 'why does that make me so sad' until you find the deeper layer, and see a doctor or counselor if the sadness feels disproportionate or lingering.
Cry out to God honestly
Stop hiding your complaint from God and venting to everyone else instead. Bring your rawest emotions directly to Him the way David, Job, and even Jesus did.
Cling to God's unfailing love, not to quick fixes
Trust means holding on and obeying, not just feeling better. Keep following God's purpose and worshiping Him even before relief comes, rather than chasing whatever will numb the pain.
Take it into your week
Rewind AI contributed study material from the sermon transcript; church-authored wording and verified sermon quotes keep their own source. Always trust the sermon itself over anything here. How Rewind uses AI
