Key points
- 1
1The defining characteristic of followers of Christ is a supernatural love that is both patient and kind — not the world's version, but God's.
“Kindness allows you and I to stand firm in our faith while being gentle with people”
- 2
2Kindness is not meanness and it is not niceness; it is the third option — a firm center with soft edges that holds conviction while treating others with charity and civility.
“I believe the reason that nobody's asking the church for their opinion any longer is because we just aren't seen as people who are kind”
“niceness has soft edges and a spongy center. Niceness may be pleasant, but it lacks conviction. It has no soul”
- 3
3David's pursuit of Mephibosheth models hesed — the covenantal, irrational, unconditional love of God shown to someone who had nothing to offer.
Illustration
East Coast vs. West Coast people responding to a blown tire — kindness helps while criticizing vs. niceness sympathizes without helping
- 4
4It is God's kindness — not His approval of sin — that is designed to lead people away from sin and back to Him.
“don't you see people sitting in church today how wonderfully kind, tolerant, impatient God is with you? Does it mean nothing to you? Can't you see that it's his kindness that's intended to turn you from your sin”
- 5
5Kindness, extended over time, restores dignity to broken people by reminding them of the Imago Dei — the image of God — that is inside every human being.
“We learned about each other as people with opposing views. We understood we were not opposing people”
Illustration
Campus Pride leader's published account of his relationship with Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy during the 2012 protest controversy
- 6
6Relational equity built through genuine kindness opens the door to honest, gospel-centered conversations that mere confrontation never could.
“It was the kindness that I showed him that opened the doors to have those conversations”
A story from life
The preacher's multi-year friendship with Lorenzo, a man recently released from prison, built through patient kindness during tattoo sessions
Application
Pastor Daniel's challenge is deeply personal: ask the Holy Spirit to bring one specific person to mind — a friend, family member, coworker, or spouse — toward whom kindness feels undeserved right now. Then, rather than choosing between caving on convictions or leading with confrontation, pursue that person with the irrational, covenant-rooted kindness God has shown you. You don't have to change what you believe. You don't have to pretend the hard things aren't hard. But consider how, when, and where you have those conversations. Build the relational equity first. Over time, that kindness restores dignity, earns trust, and opens the door to share the gospel of a King who went looking for broken, shame-bearing people living in no man's land — and invited them to eat at His table.
